If I am looking myself in the mirror, sometimes I rarely talk to myself. Most of the time I talk in my room. Even I sing mostly some from my lyrics that cannot found anywhere. I just made up with that. Somehow I find myself as a different person. Of course, being down syndrome I have, I don’t see myself as a wrong person. Even now, I am proud what I am today.


I was raised up well with my mom. The time I’ve been in the children hospital, I remembered one thing there in my childhood memories is to draw the sun. Somehow I followed. My mom sent me to the special school Cupertino. I also remembered there was a swimming pool and a monkey bar playground nearby if I could still remember. Because things of happiness sometimes brings hope to our children. From my educated life, I am now an officially graduated culinary student taking up culinary certificate in culinary school.


Being time in my school, most of my time I spent somehow in my classroom rather to be someone in the class. Sometimes during break time and lunch time, I found my playing time. Somehow I ended up beating up my classmate as well. But I always ended up as a winner. Because my classmate didn’t know that I have down syndrome during the time in elementary days. After moving up before to fourth grade, I instantly changed with some of my features in my life. I found interesting when I saw some of my pictures. I was wearing a pants that was already in my stomach and I have nerdy glasses as well. I may look as a nerdy personality, somehow my classmates don’t know how to react about me. During that time, our homeroom teacher teaches a lot of Science. That was the time I am encountering to fall in love in Science in the first place.


Science became my favorite subject during fourth grade until high school even until to the present times. If I don’t find myself in the place I don’t know myself as a down syndrome, I’ve end up in the jail not knowing that I already do a crime. Somehow I picture that to myself. That is because in our home, we are complete happy family. I have three sisters and that time, I was a only child of being have a down syndrome and also a brother at the same time. My sisters knows me very well when they studied in Antipolo along to go to the school. I found out when I asked my parents why I am with my sisters all the time going up in Antipolo. It is because of me. If they love me, I love them back. My eldest sister is three years older than me and the following sister is two years older than me also. Then I am in the middle child when my younger brother is born 10 years younger than me. And there is one sister of three years younger than me.


I find awkward in my family. How can they handle my problems when I need them? Sometimes I find alone in my room growing up that I already have my mind growing up as a teenager. Many times before, my brother was in my parents’ room because of the aircon. Now he is more fondly to put on the aircon because we have different rooms. I, alone, in my room don’t have one. I wish I also have that one, but I don’t want to use it. I use it when my friends or relatives are here. Sometimes aircon is a little bit of expensive in the electricity aside from ironing the clothes, the running refrigerator and the use of washing machine.


I’ve graduated in the special school called Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo (now it’s called Montessori Integrated School and why they are dropping the name of Antipolo from the school name). It’s the same school where the showbiz Magalonas went to study in. After I have graduated in the high school, I’ve instantly know that my school have Magalonas. Saab, Maxene and Elmo went there to study. As the nicest person showbiz career Francis Magalona always came for the parent-teacher meeting. My teachers told me about that whenever I visited the school often in a year. After taking up in culinary in culinary school, my mind went ballistic after my boss told me in the job I went in Sacocina Catering, in Teletech Fairview. I didn’t know what to do. I found hard time coping up to find a better solution to get a job.


During my years without having a real job with 6 regular months, I’ve never reached that stage. I always found myself in a capacity of 2-3 months job. Within of 2003-2004, I found myself ending up addicting of playing games instead going to the job. I’ve find hard time during that time. I was lost and interacted a lot of unusual things to do in life. Not until I learned my mom found a solution during 2006. My mindset was in the games and writing in literature which it’s poetry. Many times I stood up, I fell sometimes to my knees and crawled back to get back to my own feet to stand up. My mom and I went to a convention in Megamall. She applied me to get a load business which it’s until now I have that in my life. Being coping with my problems, sometimes I find hard time again between games and load business. I’ve always used my money to play in the internet games and enroll my money interacting in the game. Instead of staying at home doing some household chores, during some of my free time I went to internet cafe.


Now I learned the valuable lessons in life after a year, my mom enrolled me in a digital career hoping I would like to draw some of my concept characters I am drawing about my character designing. After I stopped again, we have financial problems. My parents found hard to buy me a new computer to continue my project to finish and to get a certificate in digital school. I failed many times. And I felt nothing to do but a helpless and confused what to do. After we transferred to a new location, I lost my valuable usb which it kept my school projects. Now I lost my second valuable usb again later last year which I don’t have really to trust someone who can prove to be your friend. She lost my usb, then I think that she can use it for her own. Because I have the best deals in my life.


Lessons sometimes I prove nothing. I fail all the time in the school when I am still in elementary, high school, college and digital school that I go to. My plans went fail. No matter what I despair about my life, I am clinging to my old problems. Old problems that I cannot to leave it alone in the past.


When my grades sometimes are in line of 7, sometimes one of my subjects is on line 8. I have never get in line of 9. Because I am not intelligent person as you are. When I finished high school, I found that one alone subject is in line of 7. All of my subjects were in the line of 8 except one. If I could bring my promising career, my parents would be proud of me. Instead, my dad delivered his speech during my graduation ceremony in high school. All of the people were proud of me and I earned their trust. Somehow I lost the trust when I went in college.


I was happy in culinary school knowing I would continue more in literature. Despite I like food, I like more Science and literature as well. Because without knowing to study in Science, I would not end up in culinary school as well. Despite my career went different ways. I always follow my heart to follow, even the wildest dreams hard to reach it. If there is one thing in my life that would change me is how to create the world knowing me better in my field of writing in literature. Whether they don’t know how to read it, read it again. Because I alone don’t easily give up. And I fight what is wrong and what is right.


To follow you heart is to follow your dreams. And there is one inspirational quote I have found, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. – Albert Schweitzer.” It’s hard to believe but that is why I am following and catching up in the society to follow me. If there is one life to give, then you have fight for your dreams to follow. I always know how hard battles there are, no matter what smaller problems they have. Or even biggest problem you will have is that you have to face it alone and you have fear to control it. If your fears is eating you, then yourself alone sometimes feels you the same way. I love what I am doing it. In fact, I always try to find another way to create to kill the boredom. Boredom kills your free time to do anything. I don’t want to be part of that way. I know what I am doing. I know what is right and I know what is wrong. Values that you learn in life whether in school, church activities or in no matter where you are going. People will interact with you once you open up your story and share with them.


Sharing your success story sometimes achieves to a person’s desire. I lost my rhythm when I don’t know where to get my life back on it. But I realize that life is very important to us. I’m sharing my story here in this article that I learn most of my life about my education, my broken mindset and failures in life. Again, being having a down syndrome is not a big deal anymore in fact I am proud of what I have now. And I don’t regretting anything else that I’ve done in my life in the past. People will be talking about me in case you see me in person. And I wish to share this in public if my life proves to be that way. Always follow your heart and if something is in your way, fight for it and don’t give up. Get back yourself in shape. And if you tell me something that I forget, in next article I write more specific issue topics in my life.