Toni Gonzaga

Toni Gonzaga

I have a crush for someone even I wasn’t looking at her. Maybe if there’s a moment, I would like to pretend to be one. A girl of one, two, or maybe three, if I am correct. That sometimes I begin to realize that I really have a crush on her. Maybe a little of explanation won’t give an inch. Here’s another part of article I would like to bring up because I’ve been experiencing of this before until now.


Well normally when I have a crush, I am not pretending to look at her. I’m just feeling how I react towards of her. Maybe if there’s really a girl in front of me, sometimes I begin to freeze and become speechless. Of course, there’s already a countless of girls waiting that I would speak. Hmm…where do I start? Normally if I like a girl, I would do anything just for her. Maybe I’m a type of guy who would say secretly not to tell her that I have a crush for her.


Last year when I became active in any occasion, it became instantly for me to have a spark in my mind. Of course, I don’t want her to look at me. Maybe it wasn’t for me for this girl. I became frozen and speechless. In my experiences, I’ve already traumatized to love a girl. Maybe a little mutual understanding came a little awkward for me. I almost have a girlfriend in my past, but it almost breaks my heart. So I’ve decide not to name her, because she is already married and bear some of her children. And of course, I also have happen a crush in celebrity world, in America, yes. And of course in the Philippines where I also have crush. One girl to another girl, but I’m not literally loving her in my mind. Because it might break my heart and occasionally break my lifestyle instead.


There’s a reasons why I can’t fall in love to a girl’s intentions. It’s just that being having with Down syndrome in my life is not an issue. An issue is if I’ve ever fall in love, I would not probably put myself love more than a girl. Or maybe in vice-versa, I would not put myself in a difficult situation. Up to now, I still don’t have a girlfriend. And a mutual understanding doesn’t count in vocabulary where you can have a fling already. And of course, I respect the girl’s decision.


I have three sisters. Two of them were older than me and one was younger than me. My sisters are sometimes protective to me. Whenever I have a problem, I keep a secret. But my dad was always there whenever I have a problems towards girls. And why again girls are pretty? Somehow I find it hard to discuss here in this article. Maybe I am a little of confusing and complicated. Or maybe I still don’t have experiences to love a girl seriously.


Because I am still looking for a girl who would perfectly fit for me. And I still don’t have guts to love a girl. If I become an artist in entertainment industry, somehow it will become a little move for me to love a girl. Seriously, I already have dozens of crushes both in real life and in entertainment industry. Maybe I am too much of scared or maybe I am not giving a little attention for a girl’s intentions towards me. What if you were in place of me? What would you do if I do the same in your situation? I’m still clueless.


Life becomes difficult when you don’t face the problems in your reality. Somehow along the road I am following, I become stronger. But in the same way, I become matured already. And the way I am thinking at the back of my head somehow finds me amusingly what I become. So instead to find a girl perfectly, maybe I am giving myself in an attention to prepare in the future. And future for me means a lot. I become naturally when I really look to the girl’s eyes. Maybe my type of nature would become a different from any type of a guy they are looking for. I’m not also interested to the girls who really are not interested to me. Maybe it is something that I lack of. A little of hesitation comes awkward for me. Maybe so or maybe not.