Something it come up to me and it’s not about the relationship or friendship. It’s how you will make your understanding a mutual that makes a horrible decision. My boss and I were in the conversation again. If I made it to make right, sometimes the good things made for a bad purpose. Well, it wasn’t my decision to make it right. All my faults fell into a trap again. He said it to me if I was doing my performance very well. It wasn’t well or in a perfect condition. Sometimes I rated myself somewhere in okay situation when I’ve decided to make it okay and it’s not good.


Good or bad habits of my attitudes sometimes varies in some situation. Well in purpose, I don’t make it intentionally. It wasn’t bad after all or I didn’t do in a better way. It’s either you make it good or bad win-win situations. My boss and I didn’t make it to arguments. I was bitter. I was lost. My emotions ate me up and so my pride was. I don’t know how or why. Sometimes when some people really scold me, my emotions are really pretty low. In the middle of situations, I didn’t manage to make it properly in accordingly. But in fact, I fell into a trap. It was a mere of my problem anyway.


I don’t know how to make it good. But working with somebody to please you sometimes is hard to give it up easily or retire at the end of the day. It’s a bad habit for me. I also can’t please anybody who is really giving some their puppy eyes to make it bad. Some of them is making some worse. They are treating me like someone I really don’t like. What I aim to do is a better performance.


Sometimes, my performance is really damn low. When I say damn low, my delayed reactions is something coming up of my dilemma situations. It’s really hard to cope up with my problems. Or better say to understand, it’s really hard also to please some of your companions in your comfort zone.


Speaking of comfort zone, I’ll admit in this situation. I have a bad mouth. Sometimes I really talk a lot. I don’t know how or when to shut up when the conversation is starting to build up longer. And myself is a bit don’t-know-what-to-do. Or maybe I can’t talk all the time. Was it me I’m having my difficulties? Or was it somebody I’m having problems with? Or was it something else that really occurred in some situation? Some it says it’s not my fault. It’s about my conscience that talks a lot.


I may have my purpose to live and that’s how I will be entertaining with good positive ways and signs to them. I don’t entertain negative thoughts at the back of my head thinking honestly a wrong negative thoughts. Maybe it is somewhere I am doing wrong, worse or worst of them all. Hmm…I can’t clearly think at the back of my head when to build a wall or cover with your ears where somebody is talking a longer conversations. Maybe it’s not my intuition to hear some feedbacks. I may have something don’t like, or maybe I am really boasting about. Sometimes I am having hard time from my dilemmas where to get rid of it. Or maybe not.


Should I move to a proper place? Or should I properly to act like a normal one? What do you think? Or should I to think at the back of my head as nothing it really feels like? I lost my answers. Help me to solve this kind of problems.


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