After 8 days relationship has begun last May 2013, it all happened so fast. It always have been touched me by the gracious heart from time to time. I suddenly felt lonely. I felt the agony inside my heart. Sometimes I cannot let it go. But it seems to have unworthy to your partner. But lately when I found that she have found someone else to love her, I didn’t have a chance to say that I was still in love with her. She was engaged with her latest boyfriend. Although it hurts for me to feel this, but sometimes it feels the envious inside of me.

 

But she was the one that she pushed me this far from being as a sloth. Being as a sloth or couch potato couldn’t proved for. I always watched television, played some few games, wrote a countless poems, sonnets and quotes and drew also a countless character designs. Those were my past times. But making something to write it down was even more my passion. It all brings for me the excitement in my life.

 

To name whom it may concern,

 

I always loved to have love you

sometimes I adored to look you.

You mesmerized me and I stopped

you looked down and swayed your hair,

the cherry eyes down to your head

have put spines on my back,

although we have met,

I’ve really looked after you.

 

By my heart from you.

 

It was a distance from two of us. Between her and me. Somehow I wait for a long time. It’s been six months already. And I’m open to be in love again. I long for who I am going to love for. Maybe a day to come. Or months, maybe. But I also count the days whether I will see her again to say I love you once more. But I couldn’t hurt so much that I give all my stash for you. It wasn’t a stash. But it was my heart into pieces.

 

I’ve explained my heart every time from now and then. I’ve realized that I lost my hopes on her. She was getting on my nerves already now that I knew she is getting married soon. But I don’t want to hear some marriage. It’s full of sarcastic ideas inside at the back of my head. I don’t know much. But it was much like a stigma in my brain. I am isolated where I am dying to in love with somebody.

 

I always to have with somebody

who is perfect role to have honest answer.

To have in love with me, of course,

but someone has to replace with her.

So I can forget about her.

It wasn’t enough that I couldn’t resist

thinking her at the back of my head.

It’s a matter to decide and to think twice.

 

I was crazy, wasn’t it? But it seems that I still have lack of experimenting to have experiences for relationship, perhaps. I don’t know. Maybe a push? Or do I have to realize how it was an importance with her? It can’t be decision, it’s for closure maybe. Have you fallen in love before? This was my first relationship in a wrong two-way relationship with my ex-girlfriend before. She was my first girlfriend. Now I have to find another girl who can truly have to deserve with me. Maybe a denying thoughts that I have. Or I may find an interesting thoughts, a confusion.

 

When I was in love with her, it didn’t happen to me first to give an impression for her. I didn’t know the relationship term was. But sudden after three days, my heart beat like nothing could imagine. So far, she was my first. And thanks for Joe D’Maggo who was host for Love Notes before in ABC 5 channel. I knew how the relationship felt like. It was strange for me first, now it was a bit beginning to fade.

 

I long for to decide to have a closure

yet it happens so fast what I

can decide for the two of us.

It was a matter until it was a day

or two. It happened so fast.

But I need some explanations

in my life why I have been falling for you.

 

NOTES:

 

This was dated back in May 8 to May 16, 2013. 8 days relationship. The relationship I’ve had with her was a impurity between the two of us. I couldn’t explain why I fall for her. She was the one asking me for having relationship with me. But it ended so fast that I wasn’t ready to confront her. Confronting her was my mistake. When you say confronting to somebody, I may hurt her feelings. It may lock to your heart and to your mind at the back of your head thinking some more room for thoughts. Well, I need more experience to have long for a relationship to have.

 

The next article you will read about me. It will be post it soon enough. You will read more some of my unlocked love stories on my own based experiences.

 

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