Creating Illusions (Thousand Promises)

Creating Illusions (Thousand Promises)

There is someone I am really in love. But the question is, how can I make her to fall in love with me? It may end with a big answer of no. Despite of that, I would encounter more of experiencing being not falling in love again. I fell many times before when I for long to be told, that I want to be falling in love, but it trapped me instead.


For many years since my time being in my high school days, my culinary days in college, my frustration days and my new chapter – being as an assistant teacher. Well, the question now today, when I will start falling in love again? After I broke up with my ex-girlfriend last May 16, the relationship we’ve had torn and broke me into pieces. The mirror didn’t buy the time back into the new frame. Instead, she was interrupted to hold in engagement with her current boyfriend. For me, why would I waste if I don’t want to win her back? It’s her choice anyway.


Back in shattered dreams where I am creating illusions or rather of full of promises. It may be sound weird, but it is insanely true. I may be not a perfect boyfriend. Or I may be not perfect husband if we are married already. Is it suppose to have someone who is worth for you to stay? I mean someone has to use saying to me, “there are many fishes in the sea, try to hook one and one will stay with you longer.” Yes, I may be a sarcastic knowing I could get a girlfriend easier. But the relationship is not worth saying if you are doing your partnership with your boyfriend or girlfriend instead.


Believe me. I’ve been through a lot of challenges before. Now I’ve already encountered once in relationship in once in my life. Being in love isn’t keeping you to be last. Instead, do it on your own shoes. It may fill up a while, but it will take time to create more illusions. Illusions are made to be unreal. Or maybe an isolated one will not coming back to you. Trapped, dazed, or sometimes disoriented, I may be not knowing my partner who is really about her. Is the mirror telling me that she is the one for me?


There are many fishes in the sea.” Yes, that may be true. But somehow, I don’t know how to explain how I can keep only one to find. It’s not easy or difficult to find one. I’ve fallen many times in a mazes before. I’ve tried to keep sending too much of literature poems, countless sonnets or singing songs I’ve been doing in my high school days and my culinary days as well. It may be quite journey for me. But it’s unusual thing to do for all of us.


Maybe there’s a lot of thousand promises to be made in the future. Or maybe there will be a time to say that you have to let it go instead holding back to your past. Sounds related? I don’t experience that way either. It may be counted different, but it may be create a lot of confusion answers. I have a condition being having with Down syndrome. But why’s wrong doing there? Shame, maybe. Or discriminated. Somehow I belong to the society where all singles are here to stay and to date if there’s a chance. Somehow in this quite of unrealistic article I am writing about, it’s about me, my future-girlfriend-to-be-married and my messed and disoriented mind at the back of my head.


I got a lot of answers before. But now, I am aiming to be the best guy for which the girl can afford loving me so much in the future. But then again, there’s a question inside at the back of my head again thinking if there is a chance to prove your partner will be loyal and faithfully for you. But I always follow my heart where I can understand them. They have to understand my condition, but it seems half glass to be filled the water soon. When it says half glass, it may be fill with water full or it could be drink in a same way of creating relationship with your partner.


Thousands of sending sonnets, poems or singing a songs that wasn’t having a tune yet, it may be a hang for a while. But for me, relationship is something you have to have stronger personality. It may bring something different. It’s not in my dictionary either. Instead, I am making love for everybody that I know. My family. My relatives. My friends. My whole extended family. And my life that I am living happily even without creating illusions.


Creating illusions are made for subconscious mind. And subconscious mind sometimes brings different meaning in our lives. It may sound big, but it’s really a small and tiny at the back of your brain telling it may create memories with your loved ones. Or somehow the hope will bring more showering of blessings instead. People hear a lot of interesting stories, but mine is different for the rest of the world. Being having with my condition is not an exceptional. But I am telling you that I have a big heart to fill out my half-glass heart to someone I am waiting to be falling in love again.


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