There are times when you seek relationship either in school, in work or somewhere in the middle of the day after you finally get the answer – getting into a relationship.

 

It may sound awkward. But somehow it may sounds true. I have confessions in the past. When I was in high school nearly graduating, my schoolmates seemed to know that I was barely getting a girlfriend. She was different from her class. Her eyes were mesmerized. But the late news came to me. She have had a boyfriend already. Being loveless that time, every Christmas and Valentines, I always knew love take me in another level. But it wasn’t.

 

People seem have to know my knowledge. But it never came too late. I’m also having in love with my mutual understanding partner in college. My friends called me to tease us always in the campus off and on whether it’s in college campus or not. But I didn’t know where to start. I always get that I really don’t like. And others are few. When I get what I want, she starts to move different. And she barely knew my moves.

 

Now it come bringing the love again. I’ve been falling in love again. I don’t know how it feels like she will react this way. If her suitors come in her way, somehow I feel a little jealous. But I stop being jealous because in either ways is not my decision. So I literally stop being a little jealous. Last two days, my teacher and my friend already knew that I really have had a crush on her. She was flattered.

 

My mouth fell when I said that to my boss opening a conversation between a teacher and as a friend. Which one that I really prefer to say? Does it counter really deserving? Or does things go wrong? The answers are on the way. Because I know from the start that she is really leaving so soon. And I don’t want her to leave on my presence that I really fall for her. The parent with her child with autism seemed leaving already. And I am thinking not to leave with her also. What can I do when her father is really keep on her shoes to leave Philippines.

 

But she said she can’t live in California for a long time. Because she really want to go back again here in the Philippines. What if I say that I really fall for her and I will wait for her? Does the parent in the school want to know that I really move a little closer with her? I don’t know what to do specifically. But in my presence at the back of my head I am little curious of my own moves.

 

My head feels like insomnia thinking at the back of my head that my mind can’t help thinking of her. What can you do in my place? In my situation where she is there everyday with her. Does it feel so good? Or does it feel not good? My temptations are not shown yet. Because I don’t want to start my moves to say that I really love her. If I fall for her, she will get angry. And I don’t want her emotions mixed with her work environment. I am relying my emotions intact with me. I am also curious of my own moves. My little people inside of my brain are little crazy about love and relationship. What if it really works what I really get from her? If my bosses found out, I seem stopping out of my head that I really go ballistic. And I don’t want to get that on my way at the back of my head.

 

Little people inside of my brain are also thinking, at the back of my head, that I really have to move on my own in some ways. And I have the decisions to make and to stop. When it is really getting closer, that is the time that I have to stop. And my concerns are that I don’t want our friendship end so soon. Because around the community will have to know what is going on inside the classroom between me and my teacher.

 

This is my life. And I have to share a little details inside my brain about hiding from confessions.

 

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