Day after day and night after night, I can’t sleep very well occasionally. But to tell you the truth, it seems my head hurts a little backwards instead getting steps forward. I can’t be confused easily. But I can confuse by daydreaming every now and then. What’s the matter from me?

 

Student after student, teacher after teacher and everything is getting losing in the school ground. Night after night, I’ve been repeatedly dreaming in sequences every now and then. And the bad is, I’ve been missing someone in the middle at the back of my head. Is it someone I’ve been reminding myself in the past? Or someone is nothing compare in the present times. What should I do? There are many times that I can’t be like this.

 

I may be dismay in my situation. But I can’t wake up in reality someone is missing in action. The teacher before working in our school is kinda cute, but I can’t have crush on her. I can’t explain, but I really don’t like her attitude. Is it because of me or is it because someone losing on the ground?

 

And the other thing is, when someone is leaving inside the school, there is someone who can replace the replacement of leaving student. I can’t tell what is going on. Is this the plan from above? Hmm…I can’t notice that either. Two students already and I can’t assume that I really miss terribly about them. They are already attach to me. What can I do to erase my attachments to the students that I really love them? Hmm….I really can’t tell either at the back of my head.

 

Then it come upon to my teacher who I’ve been assisting with her all day through the afternoon. I’ve been hiding my confessions to have a crush on her for a long time. And the terrible good news come. My boss said if I really do have crush on her, then I said it’s a yes. It was really weird and awkward for me really. But to tell you the truth. It was her amusing talent in teaching to those kids. She never expressed stress to me. Neither the way she exposed other things in her life that I began to have crush on her. And she is leaving so soon.

 

And nothing compares with my life before. I’ve been getting busier and busier in the school. And I’ve been lacking of my own services to get have an article on time on my studio site as well. And I’ve been getting a lot of stress lately. The problem is, should I move on or not with my life now?

 

Things are not getting easily as of now. I’ve been thinking at the back of my head to get another sideline. Should I move or not and get renew my status about that? I don’t know with myself either ways I’ve been thinking another business I could think of. My goals next year are getting closer everyday because of my existence of my work experience at the school. But the goals there are not getting that easily. I should do something with my body work out or my life will tear me apart.

 

My lifestyle also change because of my work ethics. I’ve been eating rice less nowadays because of my long-term diet, rice less and being as a vegetarian. Being as a vegetarian also proves you are really healthy. But there is some days I’ve called it – a meat day. Meat day for me have to expose my eating habit to explore to eat less about meat. But some of those unhealthy dishes are off from me. And I really meant that I can’t that dish anymore. I’ve been practicing for six years already. One dish after another one dish, this dish and that dish should not been eating anymore. I really have been practicing already.

 

But the other half of my ideas are really hard to consume eating less about meat at the back of my head. Should I move on or not?

 

Relationship, business, lifestyle and other options of my life that I’ve really putting at the back of my head thinking if I really have to move on or not. The plans are not easily to get rid of that. Just because I don’t want to, but there are some other ways also. You have to do some good points and have to replace the bad points in your life. People will discover your growth through your experiences. And I hope things are getting back in the right track. I’ve been losing my ground also in my life.

 

But I said earlier it cannot replace if someone is leaving so soon enough. People cannot change but yourself instead can make it a change. You have freedom to think at the back of your head and have freedom to have choosing either bad or good stuff also. And now I’m becoming nearly getting matured at my age. I have Down syndrome. What can you expect also?

 

In this part of my growth of my life, I’ve made moving on already with an acceptance being part of my condition. With my special condition, there are slightly changes in my life. And little by little is getting improving in my life. And I learned from my experiences also. People reminded me and advised me also. I’ve been getting new good feedbacks and I really like it. But there are some bad old feedbacks in my life also. And I’ve been teaching myself through my self-teaching about learning from experiences. If the right path chooses you the good stuff, the reward will come in each time of your life and believe it.

 

Should I move or not is an article about myself in present, past and in the the future. It reminds me to have been teaching myself in self-discipline, self-teaching lessons and self-determination. The various lessons come in different occasions. And I have to get myself in a good direction than getting myself in a bad direction in my life.

 

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