I sat on the chair across the empty room where I began thinking at the back of my head which one should I do it first. In my vision for the day, I realized that I put too much of effort for my work. Little did I know was a little thought inside at the back of my head. Should I prefer to talk or to begin with a silence? Maybe I am a little conscious. Every day I always clean the classroom, now I am beginning to wonder what the little details will coming inside of my head. I should realize that I am helplessly thinking.

 

Each day has passed, each night I’ve helplessly slept with my pillows. The old days were over. But I never presumed that those days will bring it back to me. I began to wonder and wonder what would my days will be at the blink of an eye.

 

The summer is coming and the recognition day is coming in for the next two weeks more. The teachers are inseparable. And my two bosses were looking at me as their own brother. It was then I realized that I didn’t have an elder brother. I was a middle child in five siblings but I was an older brother to our youngest brother. Looking for the right place and right time didn’t matter to me. I was looking disarray on myself. Then sudden with my eyes felt sleepy. I was unconscious very night helplessly to wake up again. I almost wanted to wake up from reality.

 

My days are becoming dull and wide to have happen that I don’t it like. Timid but stubborn I was before. I didn’t want to bring it back to my personality. It has something to do with the person who is still working in the school. I didn’t like him. But I become not enjoying anymore and my eagerness to come in the school is becoming late. Forcing myself to work must something for me to energize for my whole day. I didn’t felt the presence.

 

I became more stubborn. But I don’t like. When I become stubborn, I should look for another job that suits for me. Maybe if time will permit, I should realize about that. But in ordinary days, I become disoriented. But right now what I feel toward going to my work, I feel more uneasiness. Should I continue with my emotions? Or should I take a rest first? But untimely in my life, I always seem happy everyday I see the smiling kids around the school.

 

I am becoming more unstable. Unstable in the way of living of money, I constantly drop from my performance. But I don’t want to let it happen. I might not create any happiness anymore. For moving forward, I must seek the dreams what I have today. Hmm…it’s easy to say but you’re not doing for action you are doing right now. All my life depended on the past. Or should I continue living away from my comfort zone? But I don’t know the answers yet.

 

Previous Assistant’s corner article posts:

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Previous Assistant’s desk article posts:

https://itsmikki.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/assistants-desk-new-life-has-blossom/

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https://itsmikki.wordpress.com/2013/12/25/assistants-desk-last-christmas-party/

https://itsmikki.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/assistants-desk-moving-forward/

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