Tag Archive: Center for Culinary Arts


Part IX

Dreaming to be granted has 10 reasons to have chances for your life are to be productive in your life, create more circumstances driving to success and lifting you up in your religious bible groups or worshipping groups.

 

I am not an expert sharing or telling you some of my experiences where sometimes a full of doubts concern me all the time. But at the back of my head may tell a different side of story when you are dreaming for a success or dreaming to be granted. When you hear some bible studies, you always have to know what do you hear always from them.  We misunderstood them, and sometimes they also have a mistaken us a different stories to listen although we are always to be open-minded.

 

My religion is a Catholic. But most of the times I hear is all about other religion groups such as born-again christian, protestants, and other names you’ve to know. Somehow I get it by the point of views, or share by the own thoughts from a person’s mind. What else do you want to know if your child has something to say for you? Let me give a quick response: “if there was a mother and a child with special needs, they were always troubling their minds telling what future will handle for a child with special needs.

 

My side of my story didn’t have a way of sense of troubling. Because my parents raised me well, educated me in a better institutional school and got a college ahead. When I finished college, my mind troubled me at that time because the reality was hard coping which job you will prefer going in. I was devastated, frustrated, confused and depressed. My world seemed wanting my life to go end. When I saw myself in the past, I would rather go back in my past and redo all my bad things going to greater things. But at the end of my journey, my lessons I’ve learned before was to accept my disability being having with Down syndrome.

 

Being having a condition with someone else portrays your role might have a good offer before. When I read some good stories in different random blogs, I often hear some mother quarreling with their child going to enter the school institution. But instead, I often placed myself to a child. Because I also bear the pain of my mother when she raises me well at that time. During 1980’s, only few school institutions have granted school program for my age of 2 to 5 years of age. If my mom didn’t have her own way, I wouldn’t be here saying all my stories and share it to you.

 

Here are my top 8 quote stories for this week:

 

Quote #1:

Why God has place the center of  our hearts to finish all the trials we have?” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

When my mom have finished me going to the college in 2003, she thought my story was all over. And yet the troubled mind has never coping at the end of my journey. Instead I also prayed for what I have success today, minimizing all the problems that I made it before and coped all the problems on myself independently. My mom has sacrificed for her self trying me to finish all my problems. But she proved their son has making his achievements by itself when I made it even with them in my life today.

 

Quote #2:

Never doubt yourself without claiming that your son or your daughter with special needs has never exceed the expectations through their achievements of their life.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

I also have a chances never admitted that I also passed through all of these as a special child with special needs. But I never dreamed that I could be go so far already. When my dreams back then I was in high school, all I thought was to finishing my college. Because I knew from the start that no people have gone so far through their achievements. Some people has to stop and to work already. Some people has to get married because their relationship grew already. And some people has financial problems so they will stop. Because we are not equally have to graduate. My goals had been set already. But I never knew in my life that I could do finishing my studies through 20 years.

 

Why 20 years? When I finished my college in culinary in 2003, I was already 22 years old. The fact was when my parents have started sending me to Cupertino School for Special Children first before going to Montessori Children Haus Inc, Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo and Center for Culinary Arts. I wouldn’t have been thought creating this studio as well. Parents from DSAPI has a few to listen to my stories before. If I concentrate to my success, then I would be starting to make more conference to new parents where they will have to listen to my success. My slogan said home of achievements because I make a various encounters already in my life.

 

Quote #3:

Cross your mind that your child will not finish his studies conflicting to their health problems.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

I have chronic illness which means that being despite having with Down syndrome, I won’t live longer. But the state was hoping your child will grow more healthier. I don’t have other illnesses in my life neither I have heart problems. But my boss said that I am also immune to pulmonary problems or heart problems. I can’t stay in the area where people are smoking because of their problems. Smoking is one of hazardous problems in heart, lungs and other organs in the body.

 

But in time I’ve had finishing my studies already, I’ve complained why some of employers didn’t want me to work with them. Was it because that I was fat? Or was it because that I have special conditions? Employers also discriminated special adults in a way they can’t control their behavior. Yes, we have, in fact, a behavioral problems. Due to respect, I’ve also a knowledge when to control my behavior as well.

 

Before I was working in a school today as an assistant teacher, my PWD or person with disability identification card said that I’ve had a chronic illness. Then it began crossing my mind that I’ve had problems in heart. For my terms, it was a heart, but then when I looked in a dictionary. It was said that was long-life already. It was different. So trying to get a job before the month of June had come, I pushed myself limiting my eating habits. Then I offered myself not to eat rice anymore in a long-term already. And I minimized 31 pounds already and maintaining from my good health conditions.

 

Quote #4:

The doctor said you can’t bring your child to another physician, consultant or another doctor just to know what the case of your special child is.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

This is a very big case to each and every parent raising their special child either having Down syndrome, Asperger, Autism, ADHD and other genetically disorders. But my concerns to the doctors, consultants and physicians, they should consider the special child a second chance. Because no matter how big or small case is, the parents will still have a chance to grow their child accordingly to the plan. Doctors won’t worry, but the parents worry more concerns than them.

 

When I learned some other disabilities when I was working in a school, some of the lessons had crossing at the end of my head already. But at the end of a day, I was glad that my two bosses were keeping me a contract this year for upcoming new school year of 2014-2015. I was overwhelmed when I heard that. Knowing of my performances, I should applying in the school before but I don’t have a tough heart to do. Instead the work chooses me, because it wasn’t my fate. The fate chose me instead.

 

Quote #5:

Believe a chance when you seek God and sometimes the troubled mind will give you more headache how to understand your special child.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

When I entered a different religion church, it was me have to understand the culture of other religious groups. But it never crossed to my mind that I’ve to change my religion. It was me who will having to have relationship with the God and relationship to other people also. My boss was a born-again christian. But I was a catholic. No matter how small we were, we brought to this world to understand how special children was important more.

 

It was not an easy job to say this. But my relationship with God proved me that I have praying for Him in eternity and living after. When you seek God, that is the time you are asking to ease the problems for your special child. What is more important between religion or special children? The answer is both. The bible said that there was an introduction already in this world we were encountering special children, special adults and other disabilities also. It was Him that He saved us from our sins. And nothing to be declare but to surrender our souls to Him just to pray.

 

Quote #6:

My friend discontinued our friendship we have already, but I rather seek more help to other people encouraging to have relationship for friendship we have.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

This is already a common problem to all of us. When God said in ten commandments, “love your enemy and love thy your neighbor.” I was always having a problems to other of my friends and trying to reconnect our friendship we have for the past years we couldn’t agree for. But to tell you the truth, when you enter His kingdom, your soul with Him would never feel the sadness we have in earth. Instead, we encourage other people in the land of earth to have creating more friends. When you encounter having some enemies, try to reconnect yourself in other religion and you will meet yourself at the end of a day.

 

Quote #7:

When parents left without a reasons for their child going to another place or to another school institution, they will make their child or special child restart their life again without having connecting a connection to another friends.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

This was my concerns today when I am confronting my future. I was trying to reconnect my past because I couldn’t remembered some of my classmates before. Three-fourths of the class from fourth grade to high school I knew of them. But some large bodies of students before was first grade and third grade. It was meant that we were group of 35 or more of students. I couldn’t moved all along. But to tell the truth, God will find a way to reconnect me to them. Just believe in faith and He will guide you.

 

It is the same issues when you are transferring your child or special child to another school, then a child would say, “mommy, why do we have to transfer? I already have friends here.” I could agree with the same answers with a child. But to tell you the truth honestly, it is me who also seeking creating more circle of friends right now. Because in reality, when you are making some friends, some people has to go, some people has to stay and some people has to ignore. No matter what you are making some new friends, it will have a time when you have a chance to see them again, you are changed today than the yesteryears.

 

Quote #8:

Amount of percentage of our brain only counts few things to remember. But the size of knowledge doesn’t keep you to stay poor, but you also exceed the expectations.” ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

Albert Einstein said that the amount of our brain cells would getting bigger if you are using them properly or functioning them in a good way of thinking and supplementing new knowledge. Because his center of his head said the more you have a large space your head is the more larger knowledge you have. This is a false. Yes, he could be smart and intelligent. But he didn’t know the size of knowledge around the planet itself if you could not learn everyday. When you are using your brain in a good way, this will keep you younger and remembering some small details inside of your brain cells. Some of elderly has already surpassing their age to remember. But the fact is when you use them everyday, you could remember also everyday and talk to them to someone you’ve really love to speak for. The lessons there are keep your loved ones in tact for you when they need you the most of their life. Because no matter how long or small life span we have, we always remember the way we are treating with them.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2014 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

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Long before Rico Yan came in entertainment world, I didn’t know who I was today. Despite my disability being having with Down syndrome was not a hindrance to me anymore. But to tell you the truth, I have many troubles came when I was a kid.

 

1981 was a year when I came in. Pope John Paul II was having giving a mass in Quezon Memorial Circle when the time I was born already. But my parents gave me a nickname through Pope John Paul II and my real name came from my grandfather’s name and also from my father’s name also. To decide what was given to my life, I was also given to change the world in times of needed and supported. So I was given to be born here in the world to make it happen bigger.

 

And bigger opportunities when Rico Yan came around in 1994. I’ve remembered when he came in Master Eskinol commercial, his own very first commercial have ever been made. The longer it waited the opportunities, he also landed on his three film projects and two television appearances in 1996. That was his achievements. But my achievements wasn’t change the year of 1994.

 

It was the year 1994 that I turned a teenager. And when Rico smiled every angle at his commercial, I also smiled back on the mirror changing my opportunities if I could be also a model. Or if the time will come for me to grab an opportunity. It set my goals.

 

My dreams before was to become a photographer when I was still in elementary graduation. “If I become a photographer someday, I would get a glimpse to picture the scene of Mt. Mayon in Bicol where I love the area. It gives a beauty scenario,” that was at the back of my head when I said to myself.

 

Across at the back of my head, my high school dreams has changed through times of desperation what really my dreams were telling me about. Then I decided to tell my school mates, my classmates and my teachers that I will enter entertainment industry someday to become an actor. It was my biggest dreams that set in my mind way back before. It was all because I owe from Rico Yan who really me inspired so much in spite that I have disability. But a disability that I have before was a hindrance. My parents told me several times that I couldn’t entered in universities like University of the Philippines, University of Santo Tomas or in De La Salle University in Taft Avenue. But the dreams shattered to me when my parents told me that I won’t lasted graduating in my course I really liked was music in UST, theatre arts in UP or any courses in DLSU.

 

People have changed through times. And I didn’t know what to do. So I always gave doubts and fears inside at the back of my head thinking I wasn’t able coping my own problems. Because that time I was having a hard time on myself in denial stage before.

 

When I entered college in the year of 2000, my course was culinary arts and I studied in Center for Culinary Arts or CCA. It was a pioneering school who caters students studying in the field of baking or culinary. And at that time, I’ve had a few classmates who was also been a celebrities naming Danica Sotto and Diego Castro. They were my batch mates before. Diego was a son of late anchor man of ABS-CBN, Angelo Castro Jr. and cousin to Rico Yan.

 

Aside from them, I also have friends with cousin of Agot Isidro, Aljur Abrenica, Heart Evangelista and Rico Yan‘s female cousin. What else that I came in a reality? These cousins of celebrities, I was been blessed to have with them. Although I don’t want to name their names here in an article I am writing, it is about a privacy. Somehow I look myself in the mirror thinking at the back of my head if I could enter in entertainment industry someday and the question is, “when if the time comes?”

 

So I gave up my dreaming my goals to become an actor, a singer and a dancer. I was frustrated and depressed because of a hindrance that I have a disability. Knowing Rico Yan was not here anymore because when I heard the news that he died peacefully in his sleep in 29th of March, 2002. The news came viral everywhere around the nation. And so the followers and fans of Rico Yan have been giving their love for Rico. But my sides remained calm and peacefully.

 

Nine years later, it was already 2011. I’ve had a dreams recurring every night thinking at the back of my head because of him. Then one day when I posted some important to do was to set important details each and every day I have. The bad news came when I felt something strange inside of me. But the intentions were not in bad shape. Instead, my cousin invited me in networking in UNO. Literally I joined with her. I’ve lasted five months in multi-level marketing or networking in UNO from June to October 2011. But the acceptance was been made during I was working. So I thought myself having to know that I could do this on my own independent ways of earning.

 

Out of frustrations and depressions, I broke the chain and accepted who I was to be because of my disability. That kind of work of networking gave me a chills to my bones and my flesh. It was the time I’ve accepted my disability during July of 2011. Then later when I only lasted in October. I’ve joined and searched my genealogy roots both sides of my father and my mother’s sides. Knowing my side of my father, I was surprised when I was related to Pilar Pilapil, Dingdong Avanzado and Mark Bautista because they were all descendants of Veloso. Because I was also a descendant of Veloso clan. Wow, that was unimaginable thoughts inside at the back of my head.

 

Then at first, my dreams were coming back to me. So I’ve decided to bring my dreams again this time when I will enter the limelight of entertainment industry. With the likes of Danica Sotto, Diego Castro, Pilar Pilapil, Dingdong Avanzado and Mark Bautista, when will I become one of them at the back of my head?

 

At the end at the back of my head, I’ve remembered that I also have relatives who entered in entertainment industry. My two uncles Danny Javier and Dyords Javier were in entertainment industry. Danny Javier retired from the entertainment industry already, but his sibling Dyords Javier was still in the entertainment industry. So I make a classic move that I will become one of them, but on my definition to make my own name instead.

 

One year ago I joined with Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines, or DSAPI, on January 2012. Then I also joined in their annual walk event of the year, the 20th Happy Walk, in The Block, SM North EDSA on 19th of February, 2012, the day of my birthday. I was enjoying walking with someone that I also have a disability being having with Down syndrome. Having with a disability was not a hindrance to me anymore. Instead, all I want to become is to make my own name whether the dreams is still leading me in the right choice or decisions that I have.

 

Then I became a member last December 2012 where I got my first membership identification card. And to top of that, I also have experiences to speak in the audience who invited to come over in University of Santo Tomas to speak a short inspirational talk about me. The students, the school organizations and the teachers were applauded at my first short inspirational talk. But I was nervous that time. Maybe I have to speak again in the future.

 

But the blessings didn’t stop pouring down this year of 2013. I got my passport on my own applying in Megamall in January 2013. That was also the month I got my NBI clearance and my police clearance as well. So to decide what I was going to do – was to apply again in the next few months. But the 24th Angels Walk came when I joined and supported the autism awareness month last January 2013. It was my first support with the organization I joined. I saw one of UST who invited me last November 2012. And then at the back of my head, I’ve realized it was important for me already attending those events every year.

 

Then the 21st Happy Walk also came in last February 2013. It was my second Happy Walk I’ve joined. To added, there was one parent who came over to me and said, “I read your blog and I am one of your follower reading one of your article posts. Good job! Continue to inspire us.” At the back of my head, it was barely one year old of my studio site already. My studio debuted on 16th of March, 2012 where I posted my two articles at that time. Then a facebook page came later on 4th of July, 2012. I guessed that I put the dates on historical dates.

 

It came upon across at the back of my head when I also applied my first PWD identification card last 19th of March, 2013. I also knew why I chose the date because I loved to remember the dates I was putting in historical dates. But then at the height of my depression again during of April 2013, I was hesitated to go out and not looked for another job. Because despite I already completed the requirements including my medical certification. This was already the time if I want to have a girlfriend or not. So the dreams might occurred that I wasn’t able coping it one of my problems.

 

Then it came the month of May 2013. When my parents traveled to Europe for their vacation, that was the time I’ve had a girlfriend. But then, it was someone who also liked Rico Yan. From her, I didn’t know how to figure out what went wrong from me and from her. I’ve ended up a guy accepting a relationship with my girlfriend. And she was the one asking my hand to have relationship with her. Then I said, “yes.” Soon when it lasted only eight days of our relationship on the day of 16th of May. Our relationship ended eight days of relationship from 8th to 16th of May. Then I was not glad it was not over yet.

 

When I saw Nick Vujicic for the first time in Music Hall, Mall of Asia, I was surprised what Nick looked like. Because after all, he had no limbs of pairs of legs and arms. And to my surprise, that involved my life I also have a disability. And being having a disability was not a hindrance to me anymore. That was when 20th of May, 2013 happened.

 

A the height of desperation of cooling our relationship with my ex-girlfriend, all I wanted was to go back with her someday. So I walked in a job of the school on the day of 21st of May. On the seventh day of going back, I was hired already. Knowing myself in a different pattern, I’ve landed on my fourth job with a different job description – as an assistant teacher.

 

Fast-forwarded to this present day, I’ve accepted a chance to look forward getting to know what it will become for me in the year of 2014. Today is a final day of 2013 and tomorrow is a new day of 2014. I’ve so much to tell looking forward of 2014. What if I walk-in again in different job description? Will it become my job? To tell you the truth, this job of being as an assistant teacher I never chose about of this job. Instead the job looked for me surprisingly. So the words were not scripted but it was a fate for me when I followed my grandmother’s footsteps to become as an assistant teacher.

 

My lessons I have learned for this year of 2013 was honoring my job so beautifully, getting to know what the surroundings would like to know me better and the world had a place for me to look forward. No matter how small dreams can be, sometimes it can be a bigger opportunity would like to be. When you know how small dreams can act, it can also set bigger dreams in exchange of your place. This was how Rico Yan changed me from time I was depressed and frustrated to have a better job, positive outlook in life, happiness and optimistic when looking forward to future with positive thoughts.

 

What about you? How Rico Yan would change your life?

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2013 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Blessings in life

I was born in the world being having with mosaic Down syndrome. But to tell you the truth honestly, it turn out that I am really a blessing that God sent me here. What’s all about me?

 

I am now at early 30’s. I’ve discovered that I have being with Down syndrome. Sixteen years have been passed when my biology teacher said that I was different from the rest of the class. At first, I didn’t know what to do. I became clueless and disoriented. So I came home and told my parents if I really could have the special condition. The day it became closer to me. I was always telling me if I really have that kind of case. My intelligence was being pushed and pushed as I considered one of my favorite subject was Science. Therefore, I learned the field of genetics where it falls in the branch of Science.

 

Genetics, according to the dictionary, is the science of hereditary, dealing with resemblances and differences or related organisms resulting from the interaction of their genes and the environment. (Reference: http://dictionary.reference.com)

 

And at the same time, I fell in my own hands determining that I couldn’t accept my fate being having with the special case I have. I have been 14 years to heal that I could accept myself. Although a long period of time couldn’t take to heal in own self, there was a time I couldn’t take my chances. And chances it was really hard to heal. One of my hardest regrets in my life was my decision to make. So in 14 years I couldn’t take hearing from the society that I am not belong to. It was a blessing. And my biggest achievement in my life was to accept my condition.

 

Two years ago when I finally accepted my decision to make was the hardest decision to let it go. And I guess being having with mosaic Down syndrome, I am a blessing disguised in heaven. With my doubts on me, sometimes I couldn’t take serious on my own. To tell you the truth honestly, my parents did all their best just to raise me well. And they did. I didn’t go to the physical therapy. But I did going in occupational therapy and speech therapy. My mom spent years for me to study in one of the speech therapists before. And I went a whole lot more before. Each time I wanted to remember, I asked my parents what was my condition before.

 

Speech therapy was one of the expenses my parents spent on me. And on part of that, occupational therapy was also that I considered also one of the expenses that my parents spent on me. Honestly I couldn’t remembered one bit of memory before. I have the longest long-term memory that I could remembered. But the thing was I also have short-term memory which I forgot my entire childhood memories. But whenever I asked from my classmates, my cousins and even from friends, they told me their stories about me.

 

In grade school, I’ve graduated in high colors graduating two times already. One was during my sixth grade before entering high school but I’ve ended up finishing seventh grade in the school in 1995. But the school have had still accepting me to study although I was the one and the last seventh grader in Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo. So I was the happiest student back then. And one was during seventh grade before going to high school in 1996. My biggest dreams back in elementary days was to become volcano photographer because I loved volcanoes very much until now. Although I have cellphone camera, I still want to earn more money to buy the expensive camera. It will be one of my blessings in life.

 

And in my high school life was entirely different from the elementary days. Before I became aware of my own self, I looked around to my classmates when I was in fifth grade. My heart have still the beat that I have a new crush back then. It was only the word of crush meaning, “the admiration in life.” And did you know that I was becoming aware in fifth grade? Now you know me already.

 

And of course when I was in high school prime years, the freshman year was challenging year for me although I didn’t take elective subjects as my teachers and my parents have agreed to. But I still have managed to attend the elective classes. Then of course, I also went up and down during my sophomore year. Some of my schoolmates thinking that I was a freak or maybe a word of “sped.” That word was already a derogatory word for me. Because the meaning of the word itself was translated to “retarded.” Around in junior year, I also discovered one of my talents before was writing. It was a blessing from the skies. And I enjoyed very much that year because of the junior prom who I dated my auntie, a year younger than me. And in my senior year was also my memorable moments in my life. I have said to my classmates and in my school if want to be an actor, I would still dreaming and hoping to be one in the future. It was one of my higher colors that was included blessings in life.

 

I may be graduated already in high school but the college was one of the hardest to cope to study on. Despite I chose culinary certificate course in Center for Culinary Arts in year of 2000 over the hotel and restaurant management diploma course in Montessori College. I got the passing grade in the other school with 88 but I chose to enter the culinary school with also the passing grade of 75. It was the hardest education in my life but still a blessing in life. I also finished in one of the pioneer culinary schools in the country which was the Center for Culinary Arts. I finished in three years in culinary but the course was 2 years course. To tell you the truth before entering in college, one of my dreams was to finish college. Because I believed some of you may not finishing college years in your life. And so I did my best. I studied and graduated in one of the pioneer culinary schools, the Center for the Culinary Arts. Although I moved four batches already, I have had and made some wonderful friends in college totaling numberless. It was a blessings in life.

 

After I graduated from the culinary school, it was a huge desperation to get the big check in my life – a salary. I was aiming for the salary raise. During that time, my family have had in financial crisis and my dad sold their family company on someone’s else – the car-making pipes industry. It was there already, but I believed it was a fate chance that gave me a wonderful life.

 

Before 10 years to this present, I was now a graduated jobless person thinking what job will fits for me. I was very choosy in terms of seeking a job. And so I ended up as a chef consultant which where I worked with my mother’s friend in front of the St. Jude nursing school in Sampaloc, Manila. And it only lasted two months. It was a desperation move for me although I’ve been hooked and addicted playing online games in the computer. But I give my chances to learn more in the future. And the second job I took was being a chef in Sacocina Catering where I worked in Robinsons’ Fairview in Teletech call center branch. Everyday I saw some of agents talking in English, none of them became unaware for me. Because all I know have to learn more in English language. Running later in 9 years, I gave my chances to train myself in call center training in Ortigas where I massively learned the basics of English language. I really wanted to learn so much in English language. It was one of the blessings in life I’ve received.

 

And at the time I knew about myself, two years ago when I stepped in one of my biggest regrets, joining the multi-level marketing or networking company where I joined at least one. One was enough for me and I learned and tired listening to the rich people screaming the derogatory word of “abnormal.” And so I claimed myself that I finally accepted who I belong and went back to my own feet again. Last year was full of blessings in life.

 

I named the categories that I was blessed about:

1. I’ve entered call center training because I wanted to learn more about the basics of English language. It was not that I really wanted to go in one of the exclusive call center jobs. It was that I really wanted to learn more of the basics.

2. I’ve joined the organization of Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines or DSAPI where I learned that I wasn’t alone in the country being despite with Down syndrome in February 2012’s Happy Walk. That Happy Walk day was also my birthday.

3. My loading business paid off well in the charts and boosted my financial savings as well.

4. I’ve applied on my own applying for my first postal ID on September 2012.

5. My first short-inspirational speech talk have became part of my life and I was invited to talk in University of Santo Tomas (UST) on November 19, 2012, Monday morning.

6. I’ve applied in one of my first organization PWD ID which it was the DSAPI ID in December 2012’s DSAPI christmas party.

7. I’ve applied numerous applications in re-applying of NBI clearance and barangay clearance last January 2013.

8. I’ve applied my first PWD ID last March 2013.

 

It was all blessings in life. Although I am ready to go independently thinking if I could do it on my own, I am thinking to follow one of my biggest dreams – to become an actor in entertainment industry. If I do well in life, then I am ready to face the entertainment world. It was also thankful that I saw the wonderful movie of I Am Sam which it was about the father being having with Down syndrome and his normal daughter who never thought he could raise on his own.

 

Being having with my own self that I really love about is writing, drawing, acting if I could do it on my own and be part of the society also. I love being with myself. Without the blessings in life wouldn’t keep my ground off from the chart. But I am still looking for my dream board – to have my own house, to have my own business, to have family and to have helping other special children. And so if I do this on my wish list, I could far places such as Leyte, Bacolod, Cebu, Bohol, Davao and many parts of provinces of this country of the Philippines. I really love Philippines so much. And I love being with myself as a Filipino.

 

One of my biggest dreams now today is to become an actor if I could do it on my own earnings without a help from my parents. And I want to help my parents so much because they really raise me well. I decide to make it good in health and for the people I really care about.

Without a day to earn

In the past, I’ve really not thinking about the loading business. But as long as it goes in my life, there’s no easy business or work you’ve really get into. You finally have to understand the feeling being pocketless in your pocket. Why?

 

Sometimes I feel guilty inside my mind thinking about the things I’m really get into. But inside at the back of my head, it is something that I don’t want to get pass into. To have what’s inside sometimes I lead into wrong answers. Of course I felt guilty in the past. I’ve been running into circles in my whole life. I jump to another conclusion that I really don’t know the answer. Whenever what’s inside at the back of my head, maybe somehow I’m considering my whole life to consider what’s best for me.

 

After I’ve had graduated in college in Center for Culinary Arts (or CCA), things were around the circles. Working outside was really a difficult choice. Whenever what you got a job, it considered that was your biggest risk. My biggest risk that I had a choice was working in different places. I’ve considered my biggest fact was choosing culinary. I didn’t listen to my own opinions. My opinions were to choose University of the Philippines or University of Santo Tomas. But none of them failed in my own hands. Because I wasn’t to educate myself to enroll in highest universities in the country. It was my mom if I didn’t have to pass. But she was right. Choosing culinary certificate over theatre arts in UP or music arts in UST was worth to pass in my level.

 

But it became one of my facts that I dealt the wrong feelings, a doubt. Yes sometimes, we allow to doubt to ourselves. It doesn’t really considering me the fact I was really enjoying the culinary years. I met a wonderful chef instructors and have met their expectations. Sometimes I felt the guilt inside my feelings. After I’ve graduated in culinary years, my first job I’ve landed was a chef consultant and chef assistant to my mom’s friend. It considered my biggest break, but it only lasted two months in front of St. Jude Nursing School at Sampaloc, Manila. During that time, I was addicted playing online games. In fact, I lost my effort and time to choose my decisions being as a chef.

 

Whenever I have another job, there was always a question at the back of my head. It was a doubt again. But I’ve never stood of my feelings were. My second job I’ve landed was working in Sacocina Catering owned by Ignacio family. It wasn’t a perfect job for me. But I stood for my feelings in my work. So I’ve worked in my second job for only three months. It was dealing me between my feelings and the job itself. But then, she have said to me that this job wasn’t meant for me. Maybe she was right. In fact, I was already quitting culinary at the top of my depression years. It was during 2005.

 

Upon that, maybe it felt my feelings crossing in my veins and at the back of my head thinking if I was doing right decisions. I’ve quitted culinary years for almost 8 years being not practicing my culinary skills. But my culinary knowledge haven’t gone out at the back of my head. So I kept my knowledge whenever I have learned from my culinary years. But I kept mum and silent in 6 years.

 

When loading business have entered in 2006, my mom enrolled me to have my own loading business. I found loading business as a boring business at the start of few months. But I’ve never thought it was good for my addiction in games. So I’ve enrolled in different game online platforms like Ragnarok, Khan Online, Flyff Online, Perfect World and Ran Online. They were the only online platforms that I was really hooked on before. But I have said to myself it was good to get rid of my stress during my first year in loading business.

 

Stress was my feelings to get rid of my depression times. I grew my hair in three years. I was melodramatic and emotionally stress at home thinking if I was worthless, not accepting of who I was, or if I was an adopted child in the family. It was really emotionally depressed and frustrated of who I was. During that time, I’ve not decided if I really have Down syndrome as one of my special condition. I wasn’t aware because of that. It was a pain at the back of my head.

 

After long of waiting two years later on, my loading business grew larger in numbers when we moved to another location. My addiction in games haven’t kept me off. I kept my online accounts alive. But after we have experienced a flash flood that in Cainta, it was a greatest fear of my life. My depression and my frustration somehow brought me back inside again. But it kept off me finally from my addiction in games. I’ve learned my lessons. But my loading business kept me alive after I’ve learned many lessons in life.

 

In 2009 when I went back for my biggest dreams have keeping me alive. Drawing kept me stronger. And so was the writing. Writing for me was my biggest passion of my life. I’ve kept my writing skills throughout the years but it didn’t stop me to improve my skills in English language and English literature. Loading business was the one who have kept me alive in six years and ten months already. As I’ve got out from my depression and frustration in 2011. I’ve joined in multi-level marketing or networking bandwagon. It was UNO have kept me hopes bringing out my depression and frustrations in my life. Everyday, I spent my money from my loading business in five months. I’ve shredded my long hair bye-bye in 2009 when I’ve enrolled myself back in digital school.

 

Then one moment came in to my life. It was the biggest fact that I’ve finally learned my special condition to be accepted in 2011. It was the end of my depression and frustrations that year. And of course when I learned where I was belong, I found the organization or group of Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines or DSAPI. In fact, I began to become a member last December 2012. And there were many blessings came in to my life last year and this year.

 

I’ve enrolled myself to have my own and first postal ID last September 2012. Then another milestone that I got was to get in front of the audience becoming a guest speaker. Being having with a special condition of Down syndrome was my biggest blessing for me. Because if I wasn’t able to learn what my special condition was, I won’t able to write here in a long story. And in fact, I got my first passport that I’ve enrolled myself in DFA Megamall. I’ve said to my parents that it was already a milestone for me. One step to another step was considering the fact I was following for my dreams – a writer + an artist (and + an actor as one of my biggest dreams).

 

And so I got also my first PWD ID last month. Now I was finally getting to my independent stage ready for my age with a help of my loading business for six years and ten months that kept me alive. This loading business is worth saving my financial crisis without a day to earn. In the past years of my life, it really saved me much. Now I am aiming to get 12k from my loading business to enroll myself in an audition in Star Magic Circle auditions next year or this year.

 

As I’ve always said to myself that I would never give up of my dreams. And one of my biggest inspiration icon who also saved me was Rico Yan. My dreams is waiting for me, now I’m facing my dreams waiting for me to gain exposure in the public television.

Achievements

This is my walkthrough achievements where you can see my latest and old achievements I have made it so far. Each day and each night, I make some new and some old must have throw it away that it doesn’t achieve so far. But I deserved what I got from my life. Maybe a yes if it’s worth it, but if it’s a no, then it’s not worth it. Somehow along the road, I find lessons that I have to learn. You have to earn it through experiences you can get. Just like when you are playing an role playing game, you can select the character and choose the road of pilgrimage of your character.

 

Hmm…it really sounds like a game if you really want it to make so interesting. But here in the walkthrough you can read, it is about me and my success stories. Well some of small and some of big successful stories may have come in your ears to hear and eyes to read it.

 

12 FACTS: WALKTHROUGH OF ACHIEVEMENTS

 

1. My first acting experience

 

Maybe this was a little chance when I got an acting debut back in my elementary days. Well of course, acting was little curious for me. Yes, we always have had a program back in our elementary days. I played as a small role and that was a soldier that my classmates have had a skit play about Ferdinand Magellan and Lapu-Lapu. And I’ve really remembered that. As I was slowly staring in the audience dying like if I was care. The audience really gave us a winning masterpiece. So I did my best. (This was when I was still in fifth grade.)

 

2. My first dancing experience

 

Also back in my elementary days when I have had a chance to dance with my classmates in front of my schoolmates. We didn’t have a studio or theatre back then. So I’ve really had a chance to dance. Practicing to dance was a hard for me in the start. But along the road, I’ve learned the tactics and techniques how to dance very well. (This was when I was still in sixth grade.)

 

3. My talent in drawing

 

Of course, anybody have a chance to draw in a sketch pad. But not from me, I don’t have a skill in drawing. Ever since I was in elementary, I drew a lot of Science drawings from plants, animals or human that made me encountering with a pencil and a paper. So I did an amazingly idea when I showed it to my Science teacher. Then she surprised when she gave me a perfect score in I.W. (or individual work). Somehow I’ve managed my grades well in Science but I’ve always failed other than academic subjects. Somehow I wasn’t able to get attention to my other talents was. (This was when I was still in sixth grade.)

 

4. Dance number in my grandparents’ reunion

 

Along the road when I’ve learned how to dance, my maturity in dancing improved a little. But I wasn’t having serious dance number. Me and my cousins did a dance number before. And I thought having dancing in front of my relatives was giving me a chance to prove that I don’t have stage fright. Well some of my cousins also gave me a chance to have a solo flight back then, I was little curious and I did my best. (This was when it happened during March 29, 1998.)

 

5. Love for literature

 

Soon after I’ve fell in love in acting, dancing and drawing, I’ve also encountered writing in literature. It gave me a passionate to do some poems, songs and sonnets. Back then, my grammar and sentences didn’t improve so much. Because I was able to get some lessons how to write well. But I did my best. Although my first poem was dated back in December 10, 1998 and that was Thursday. Somehow I’ve remembered carefully how I can write properly. It has to be simple. That was how my mother always said to me that it has to be on you how you to write. (This was when I was still in junior year high school of 1998.)

 

6. Graduating colors in high school

 

I was little confused, complicated, dazed and eager to graduate during my senior year in high school. Along the road I’ve accomplished, it was very thankful for me that I really did my best as a student. It was very sad story for me that I’ve to graduate during my senior year in high school. But it was a good chapter for me. My improvements have had me so far that I finally got managing to graduate colors in high school. High school was very hard to graduate in that level. Every subject you have to learn whether it’s elective or not, you have to do it by your own or by help from your parents or relatives. High school is important in education. So if you don’t get in high school, you wouldn’t get college career. My highest grade in high school as far as I’m concerned was Economics with an average of 88. I was very proud of it. Because I wasn’t get an attention to any other of my subjects. I was able to have finish on time. All of subjects were on the line of 8 except for one subject, the High School Math: Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry and Calculus. It was really hard but it was important subject when you entered in college. It’s either you go in engineering, animation, or any related course, it is always there as a college math. You have to deal with it and have to challenge. And somehow I’ve managed to get a high school diploma through my hardship of working in my subjects. In graduation ceremony, I got an outstanding ovation from the audience because of my father’s speech. He was a guest speaker for my high school graduation ceremony. I was very happy that I’ve really enjoyed studying in high school. (This was when I was still senior year in high school of 2000 graduation year.)

 

7. Dancing for the first and second time in AFP Theater in Camp Aguinaldo

 

Why dancing again? But I was getting a culinary degree in college. I’ve faced my challenges. In fact, I did two times already in the year of Summer 2002 and Summer 2003. Before I’ve graduated in Center for Culinary Arts, I’ve asked my parents if I can study and take dancing lessons in Airdance in Quezon Avenue beside the National Bookstore branch. So they did me registering in dance lessons. At first, I have had with my brother in 2002. It was a great experience. But somehow on next Summer 2003, he didn’t join but I forced to continue my habits in dancing. And so I did continuing. I’ve managed to dance in a whole crowd for the first and second time in AFP Theater in Camp Aguinaldo. Our dance teacher was formerly member of Philippine All-Star dance group. (This was when I learned how to dance prettily well in Summer 2002 and Summer 2003.)

 

8. Graduating colors in Center for Culinary Arts

 

Maybe it gave me a span of years to finish a culinary certificate in Center for Culinary Arts. About when I started on May 2000, I gave a little fresh start to get a summer cooking classes before going in a college in Center for Culinary Arts. And I got a passing grade of 75. Well to cut the story in short, I’ve given a two colleges to get into. One was Montessori College near our home and one was in Center for Culinary Arts. Both of them have given a passing grades to me. But in Montessori College, I’ve got a highest score of 88. No wonder I can beat the scorer. I wasn’t an intelligent person but I’ve given as a smart-thinking person. So I’ve graduated in CCA on July 4, 2003, Friday afternoon. (This was when I was 22 years old in the year of 2003.)

 

9. Accepted being having with Down syndrome

 

It was so many years to cut in short. I’ve given a chance to think what would my life be in the future? To cut in short, I’ve always denied and denied of what I have being with Down syndrome. So in fact, I’ve a given opportunity to get out of the shell of my story. I saw a wide crowd. They were saying, “abnormal ba kayo kung yayaman kayo? (Are you abnormal if you are given as a rich person?)” This was when I started going out in networking job. But I’ve realized they were wrong. Being as a rich person makes you so wrong. Communication tool is a powerful tool to use in a good way, but not in a bad way. But along the way, I’ve discovered my both family roots from my father and my mother’s side. Both of them have had a rich history in family roots. So I’ve decide to step backward to push forward in a good direction. I’ve found Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines or to cut in short, DSAPI. It was in my father’s side where one relative’s friend was a volunteer of DSAPI in Davao Chapter. And later, I’ve joined in February 2012, the 20 years of celebration of Happy Walk. It was my first time to join in an organization. And so I did my best to cut my negative sides of my life being having with Down syndrome. But it was already 2 years already that I was ready to accept it with my heart whole-heartedly.

 

10. First delivering short inspirational speech in UST, Alberto Magnus Bldg.

 

It was a greater experience I’ve ever had in my life. And it was my first time that I spoke clearly and slowly in my first delivering short inspirational speech in University of Santo Tomas, Alberto Magnus Building on November 19, 2012 in Monday morning. I was thankful I’ve had a given chance to speak in a crowd. But I barely knew anyone in the crowd except for the one who invited me in UST grounds, it was Jennica Gan. I’ve never had a good time of this experience. To cut in short, it was a blessing.

 

11. First of firsts

 

I’ve had a first organization ID card in December 2012 when I became a part of DSAPI. It was my first. After that, I’ve also got a first postal ID that I got since September 26, 2012, Wednesday afternoon. And after that, I’ve also got my first PWD ID card last March 19, 2013. It was first of everything. But getting a NBI clearance was the second time already. But I’ve managed to get my first police clearance last January 2013. And it was also my first time I’ve got applying my own getting a passport last January. Like I’ve said, it was first of the first of everything.

 

12. Third memorable prom of the year

 

Being at my age of 32 years of age doesn’t mean you were old already. And it was my first experience to have a partner as a not relative, but an occasionally part was having with a La Salle partner. Past of my two prom experiences was also my part of my life. But this was the greatest adventure. I’ve even had a date with a distant relative of Juan Luna and Antonio Luna. Because her name was Luna. Like I’ve said, it was a great third memorable prom of the year and in my life.

 

The main goal of my achievements is one remaining goal in my life. I have to get into the entertainment industry as an artist. Despite I’ve being with Down syndrome is not an excuse, but to share in the Philippines that I also have a talents in acting and dancing. If I were given a chance to sing, maybe I’ve to take a vocal training. These 12 facts of me is a great honor to tell you that this have to be honest feelings as a writer. Like I’ve said in the past articles, I’m not a good writer but I love to write. Because writing proves me having with a passionate to write.

I was a bit confused what girls wanted for the guys have to know about them. Normally if I like the girl, I would do anything just to see her. But if the money buys for happiness, sometimes I think twice. Because it won’t give me an inch for the girl’s heart. Yes, I’ve been heartbroken not once, not twice, not thrice but many times already. What they didn’t know about me? It’s because they have to know me better. When I look girl’s intentions in her face, I always think at the back of my head that if she would like me better. I would tell her about my love life and if I have a girlfriend before. To tell you honestly, it was completely zero.

 

Why? For some reasons why, I don’t know them why they don’t like me getting to know me better.

 

Maybe it wasn’t so bad that I fell in love every time she dumped me. And at the end of the day, you can’t win the girl’s heart all the time. Are they looking for the guy’s standards? Maybe yes. Or maybe not. Yes, sometimes girls are looking for their standards to meet to their guidelines.

 

Number one rule on them: Tall. I’m 5 feet and 3 inches 1/2. Well I am not that taller for their standard guidelines. Maybe so, I won’t accept the guidelines on them. It’s definitely not a guideline, it’s their wants.

 

Number two rule on them: Dark. Hmm…I wasn’t sure they are looking for a guy who is white or dark. Sometimes they prefer darker because on them are white chicks. Well, it’s not also a guideline, it’s their wants.

 

And number three rule on them: Handsome. Everyone on the earth are all handsomest men. Maybe they are speaking the guidelines again. It’s absolutely not a guideline, it’s their wants also.

 

But I have the list if their guidelines are on their list on mine: tall, dark, handsome, funny, down-to-earth, friendly, not jealous and adventurous

 

Let me give you a straight answer. When girls are seriously looking for a guy’s intentions, sometimes they have intentionally giving the guys having a hard time to think. Of course, I am afraid that’s true. For some reasons why, girls are not all the same. We, men, are their wants when the times in their age needs a little attention to get married. Why are you looking for a guy who looks like Sam Milby, Piolo Pascual, Taylor Lautner, Rob Pattinson or Sam Concepcion perhaps? Are they looking for a guy who have abs on their body? Hmm…that’s a question already.

 

I have no girlfriend, or even a fling throughout my life. It is because every time I think that way, girls have already their standards to make guidelines. What for? I am looking for girl who is aware about the guy’s dark secrets. Maybe I do have dark secrets. But I won’t telling anything dark secrets here in the article. Because it is more personal you are asking already.

 

Let me give you a recap in my past love life. I have one crush. She was on the 5th grade. But it wasn’t intentionally I have had a crush on her. I’ve admired her because of her beauty. Then on the sixth grade, I have had two crushes. One was celebrity crush and one was on sixth grade. I will tell you later the story. Because this article is worth to know the girl’s intentions. The first celebrity crush I have had was none other than, Antoinette Taus. She was attending and studying in OB Montessori together with Aiza Seguerra. I was about seeing Antoinette Taus in various roles of her life before she was still in ABS-CBN before transferring to GMA-7.

 

Having crushes in your life is partly growing up in your life whether you are still a child, a teenager or an adult already. Because that’s what all about the lessons in love life. (Well, I will discuss that later also here in my article.) Yes, I’ve been counting my crushes until college life. Then after the college life, it’s already countless. Because I am already admiring for who is inspiring me to continue improving my life better. That is why I am still continuing to keep me better whenever I have love life from time to time.

 

Here’s a continuation in my love life where I stop in my elementary life. In seventh grade, I already have had one crush that added in my list. She was the fourth. And I won’t mentioning her name. She might be reading my article although I’ve been hiding this for my life. It is one of the love conflicts in my life on her until today. Because you never know some of my lyrics I’ve been making are still on her name. And I have the short stories that it’s also on her name. That is why it might be have love conflicts. Well of course, I still have her updated picture. Definitely I won’t mentioning her name or give out some initials. No, I won’t.

 

Then after elementary life comes high school life. Of course, everyone loves high school life. When one person remembered anything it was special, it would be definitely a high school life. Well not everybody I know they have the same. I have had two crushes in my freshman year. But to tell you the truth honestly, I lost the paper that have their names on my love life later when we transferred for the second time. Although I was fuming in mad, I didn’t know what to do. But that’s life, then you have to go on your life. Then at the sophomore year, I still have added two or three crushes. I think, maybe that’s two. I really can’t remembered after I lost the paper. All of their names in my previous crushes have the same names but in different surnames. During my sophomore year, that was when I found out I have had being having with Down syndrome. (I also have to discuss later here also part of this article.) Around when I was entering junior year, that was when my year was blooming in love. I still didn’t get to know why do I have blooming years. Does the guys count on that blooming years? Maybe so. Or maybe not. Added in my junior year were three crushes. One of them was also a celebrity crush. And I might be hurting so much. So I won’t bother to mention her anyway. She was also part in Tabing Ilog‘s set.

 

During my junior year, that was when I’ve started to write my first poem dated back on December 10, 1998, Thursday afternoon. That my very first poem marked my first in-love making in writing. It became one of my interests instantly. When you are making one, you will definitely falling in love writing anything under the sun, a limitless. Hmm…that junior year was also marking my blooming year because of the junior prom. My very first prom made it clearly to remember. And my first partner before was none other than my younger auntie. She was one year younger than me. When I was dating her in my junior prom, on the start I was definitely have had a crush on her. But it didn’t give a hint because that was my relative. So it doesn’t count anyway. Sorry, it was a false alarm. Then at fourth year, the graduating year in high school, made clearly at the back of my head. I was definitely looking for a partner before the senior prom was started on February. Then at the first love at sight made instantly to a freshman year girl. But it failed me just to impress her. Because later, that I’ve found out that she was having a boyfriend at her young age. Was that a puppy love or romance love? Maybe so, maybe not.

 

It was my first time that I was making my move to send her numerous poems and sonnets on my part. Every time I passed by on their classroom, I was clearly thinking of her. Asking of her classmates, they were making excuses just to see her. And sometimes, they were humiliating me because of her. Why was I falling in love on her? She wasn’t that intelligent. It was because later I’ve found out she was just the same as me. Sleeping sometimes inside the classroom was the humiliating moment of your life. During my high school years, some of them were younger than me. That was why I was putting them on my list. It was actually passing a record on one dozen already. But I won’t bother that anymore.

 

After I’ve had graduating Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo where I attended the school throughout my eleven years. The preschool years was not included on that although the owner of preschool, elementary and high school were only one. And I was thankful of them because I learned so much from my school. When I was starting attending a culinary course in Center for Culinary Arts, I became effectively an instant friendlier. Well I moved one batch after I’ve failed on the first subject. Then on the second batch that I’ve joined, it was two celebrity friends that I have had. It was Diego Castro and Danica Sotto. It was when they were both graduated together in 2005. Diego was Rico Yan‘s first cousin to Tita Sita‘s side. Then at the same time, I also have had a cousin where I found out they were both studying in Miriam College before during their high school days. It was also Rico Yan’s cousin to his father. It finally concluded they were both following my instincts. Maybe my intuition to become an actor was one of the signs I was failed to accomplish in my college life. Maybe so, or maybe not.

 

Then at the back of my head, I’ve gained too many crushes during on my first batch of year 2000, on second batch together with Diego and Danica, on third batch, then finally to fourth batch where I was finally graduating in colors in 2003. Honestly on my way out before college, there was also a sign. It was Agot Isidro‘s cousin who I became friends with him. One of my intuition wanting in my dreams also failed along the road I’ve been through. College life was better than high school life. But sadly, I have had to say it again goodbye to my college the last time I saw them again. It was a tough one.

 

During my college years in CCA, it was my hardest part of my life. Becoming depressed and frustrated at the same time made me clearly I was failing the moment in school. When you loved someone you dearly wanted to become boyfriend or girlfriend, that was one of my hardest lessons I’ve ever had. It was when I loved somebody. My batch mates sometimes played you for a while, it was a mutual understanding love. Sometimes we were on when we were on college grounds. When we were not on college grounds, we’re not. It was hurting my feelings and my personality. There was once in my life that I ran away from home just to see her for the last time in Taytay. But I failed along the road of my personal love life.

 

The lessons in your love life have sometimes judgmental life. It was judging you to improve your lifestyle without them. Moving on was one of the hardest part as everyone did it the same I did. Not everyone that I know. Few of them I guessed. Here comes the segment where I’ve to discuss about the lessons in love life. Let me give you a recap from a nutshell in my life.

 

Seven lessons in love life:

 

1. Never put yourself to anyone you really love her badly. Yes, sometimes I did it the same it goes in your life.

 

2. Never agree in your conscience to fall in love on her. It was actually a bad move when I did it the same way. But if you are stronger enough, then you have to win her heart over her mind. Sometimes, some girls also have weaknesses on the softer side.

 

3. Never put yourself to make her move to fall for you. It was a win-win situation. It really happen for the guys who girls are looking for the guy’s heart to soften their feelings.

 

4. Never get in a trap when feelings are emotionally stressing you out. I’ve been through this already. And it really hurts me badly. As I’ve been passed on this, then I did getting stronger without her.

 

5. Never go to sleep when you are thinking her everyday in reality. It is still happening to me all the time. Whenever I am not involve thinking of her, it become instantly when I am thinking of her. Then at the end of the day, we become inseparable when I am thinking of her. And I am not the type of a guy who won’t go eating all day long or won’t sleeping all night long. That’s a bad habit already.

 

6. Don’t go to relationship if you are not ready. Keeping myself out in relationship sometimes makes me stronger in and out of my personality. Whenever I don’t have experiences, I still have sixth sense, the intuition.

 

And 7. Don’t go to have fling with her. Sometimes mutual understanding does it count on fling relationship. But on my list, she wasn’t not that serious after all. Because of my college friends played their part if we were in and out of the college campus. It was really hurt me that badly. It was a month when we were together. There was once a one group when you were together on a laboratory work. The laboratory work was where you were working on your responsibility field to do who was on charge on cutting on ingredients, who was cooking and who was taking on charge plating your meal.

 

Being having with Down syndrome was one of my hardest challenges of my life. Because this girl I was talking about in my college life, she knew about me. Because I was too much like a girl’s attitude. Speaking one of those in markets was one becoming one of my problems. An unstoppable talking you were talking about made you look like a girl. So I learned and moved on my life as well. An issue being having with Down syndrome was one of my problems before. Keeping denying about yourself having with that special needs made you having a mortal sin in your life. Then later on my life, I learned the fact that I have to move on and accept the conditions.

 

At the end of the article, this is where I have to end my article goes on. Because on the next articles soon I will release, there will be more precise and briefly story you will read about me.

Living and Accepting

Three decade years have been passed. From when the martial law has been lifted during February 17 to 21, 1981, Pope John Paul II have visited the Philippines for the first time. His second visit marked during his stay during 1995. And I could barely remembered during the times he was visited the Philippines. Despite President Ferdinand Marcos was still running as a president during my time of my birth, I couldn’t stood the fact that I was conceived from my mother. On the day of 19th of February, 1981, Pope John Paul II have had his mass around 8 am in the morning in Quezon Memorial Circle in Quezon City.

 

Many people have believed the blessings from Pope John Paul II. After six months, Music Television or MTV gave a debut on August 1, 1981. And many events happened in the year of 1981. Including have parted from NBA Finals 1981 when Boston Celtics clinched their 14th championship ring in the span of 34 years of NBA. With 595,444 of attendance in Boston Garden, Larry Bird led 21.9 in point percentage, 14.0 in rebound percentage and 2.3 in steal percentage and Tiny Archibald led as many in assist percentage in 6.3. Alongside with the Boston stars were Cedric Maxwell, Robert Parish and Kevin McHale.

 

Then after two years later, the dreams almost broke when my parents found out that I was having Down syndrome earlier in my babyhood. I was two years old back then. It was almost as if they were given up about me. So they decided to send me in Cupertino Special Children School in La Vista Subdivision, Quezon City near Maryknoll (now Miriam College) and Ateneo de Manila University. Mrs. Macapagal was the school directress back then and now. Somehow Ms. Tina Maraviles, the school administrator, still remembered me and I still didn’t remembering anything because I was still a baby back then. The teachers worked on very well for the early intervention to grow my potential talents. Then my parents tested me in Philippine Children’s Hospital for my continuing my early intervention. I was a mosaic Down syndrome.

 

Early of my childhood was blurred and I couldn’t remembered anything. But to clear my vision made me very clearly. So I thought having to write what was written according from the stories and events. And my family went to United States with me as still as a child. During February 1986, it was horrible during that time. Because the Philippines was facing a People Power revolution where President Corazon Cojuangco-Aquino made clear as a next president of the Philippines during the snap election when President Marcos lost a bid running for presidency against Cory Aquino. It was all because Ninoy Aquino was assassinated during August 21, 1983 in Manila International Airport where he died on the spot stepping down from the airplane.

 

Fast-forwarding to the teenage years when I was already 13 years old. It made clearly for me that I could now talked, listened, heard, touched and felt the senses that I was now. It picked me right up where I learned from Science, Arts and Music during my high school years. I was 13 years old when I was in 6th grade turning right to be graduated in the year of 1994. But it lost the way when I got an accident from a jeepney that bumped my shoulder bone break slightly. So I stayed one more year in elementary for 7th grade and all of my classmates before were all in 6th grade. I was the last and only 7th grader back during that time in school year 1994-1995.

 

Upon entering the high school in 1996 in freshman year (first-year high school), my interests grew and gained more knowledge as I loved History and other favorite subjects. But the Recess and Lunch subject was all my classmates’ favorite. I was different from them. Then I have said to myself that I could achieving some lessons to be learn soon. But during sophomore year (second-year high school) was the year that I have found having with Down syndrome case in my life when our Science teacher told me so about the genetically disorder. But it wasn’t that bad or good. The good news came later in my life. But the bad news also came in my life. I’ve asked my parents after I got home. They said it was true. It was turning not bad or good but that I’ve to accept the fact of being having Down syndrome in my life.

 

People have found me different and I found them challenge in my later of my life. So I was chosen to be pick from God’s creation as an instrumental. And yes, many challenges came later in my life. I’ve even danced my auntie (a year younger than me) during my junior year and I was claiming my best dress title back then. Being despite having with Down syndrome doesn’t gave some troubles that year. I also loved Literature during that time. That was when 10th of December 1998, Thursday lunch afternoon I’ve decided to make my first poem. And I was petrified back then because my classmate turned down my literary work been almost to be published.  But I’ve never gave up.

 

As I graduated from high school from the year of 2000, the two schools out of four of my choices gave me a passing grades in Maria Montessori College or MMC and Center for Culinary Arts or CCA. I’ve never got a chance to get an entrance exam in University of the Philippines or University of Santo Tomas. I’ve almost gave up between my years in culinary. But I gave a fight fulfilling to graduate in prestigious first culinary school in the Philippines, the Center for Culinary Arts. I have had celebrity friends back then. It was Danica Sotto and Diego Castro (first cousin to Rico Yan). There was also some two near showbiz personalities I almost have had connections with. It was Rico Yan‘s female cousin and Agot Isidro‘s cousin during that time.

 

After I’ve graduated from my attending college of Center for Culinary Arts, I thought I almost gave up. But during that days in summer 2002 and 2003, I’ve also joined in summer dancing camps in Airdance. Before the Philippine All-Stars dance group was not yet introduced yet, some of them I’ve knew were my dance mates and instructors. I’ve almost becoming a dancer back then. All of my choices were turning down as if my dreams almost gave up. I’ve pushed myself after a longing five-years hiatus from being having addicted in games. I’ve been hooked in games ever since I was graduated from my college days in five years. It was 2006 when my mom gave some business that I still have had business up to the present, the cellphone loading business in D-Loads. I’ve also entered in First Academy in Computer Arts studying in digital arts but haven’t finished in digital school yet because of the incident of losing of my two flash drives.

 

In the span of doing the loading business in 6 years, 7 months and 19 days have given a way for me pursuing what dreams may come true in the future. To live and to accept is my two keys of existence fighting to achieve my dreams. Despite having with Down syndrome wasn’t an issue in my life. It was already a year and a half that I’ve accepting myself having with Down syndrome in my life. So I thought I challenge myself to a brighter future living and accepting the facts today.

Return in Neverland

The story started a long time ago. But this story wasn’t all about Peter Pan and the Neverland. It was all about me. It was dreamy for me. Every night I sleep makes me still remembering the monkey bars and the swimming pool. Now each time it breaks my dreams, it become real for me.

 

I wasn’t able to walk. I wasn’t able to talk. And I wasn’t able to have motors like this kind of writing and typing articles. All I need to hear is a fictional story from my story. I am born in this world without knowing myself and my background. I wasn’t able to have a conversation to anybody else. Just as I started to walk and talk when I got an early intervention for every special child. In the world where there is a place have no perfect parents and no perfect child, God gave a talented special child. And that special child was later very talkative and at least, happy all the time.

 

When he turned two years old, his parents have found that their first-born baby boy has Down syndrome. The doctor couldn’t explained how he got the special case. Through his years, this baby boy turned a handsome boy. And that dearly handsome boy turned almost 8 years old as he entered the world of adventures. He entered 1st grade of his life. Then another 2nd grade, he passed without knowing himself yet. In another event of laughter and sadness, the teacher would gave up to this child. But no matter what happened, it turned great. When he entered 4th grade, one by one of his memories gained momentarily. He could remembered how Science built in knowledge and how to count in Mathematics from Addition to Division. He also loved to dance, loved to draw and loved to write. As he grew his talents, he graduated not in honors, but in loyalty and special award when he finished elementary in his school in Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo. But the incident happened to him unexpectedly. He thought he couldn’t finishing his studies in his life. All he wanted was to finish college at least.

 

Then he entered high school at his age of 14 years old for his freshman year. He now loved his subjects more than three subjects: Science, Arts and Music. It turned out that he also loved History. And the great history around the world was now seeking his knowledge. But he also loved watching sports, cartoons, and mostly important how to win the heart of a girl. Because he watched mostly from the love stories and read some of his favorite books, Hardy Boys. Each month it passed because of his knowledge became wider and wider for him. Knowing truthfully and honestly, this teenage male didn’t know that he have had Down syndrome when he was sophomore year (second-year high school). He was confused, frustrated and depressed. But he gave a fight finishing of his studies.

 

As he reached junior high (third-year high school), he now also liked Literature when he began to write a faithful day. It was Thursday afternoon lunch break, December 10, 1998. He wrote a poem. His first very poem wasn’t published in the school paper. He became frustrated and gave a fight again in his life. He wrote a thousand songs, sonnets and poems of his life. Then at the moment, he had a wider dreams to become like William Shakespeare and Emily Browning. He also liked how imagining the world will change in the future to become one of the brightest stars in television. He wanted to be an actor, a dancer and maybe a singer. All of his dreams will wait for him.

 

Until he graduated from high school in Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo, the first batch that graduated in high school. He and his classmates challenged in a next huge chapter, the college life. He gave two passing exams in Maria Montessori College and Center for Culinary Arts (in short, CCA). His grade from MMC was 88 but his grade in CCA was 75. He now thought entering culinary course rather entering in Hotel and Restaurant Management, both in fields of cooking courses. In his back of his head thought he could entering music course in University of Santo Tomas (in short, UST) or theater arts in University of the Philippines, Baguio (in short, UP). But he didn’t get of his two university schools out of 4 schools of his choice. Maybe it was a fate for him.

 

He gave another fight of his life when after his leave of absence during his college years. He went to courses that could gaining him a little experiences for cooking. When he came back in the culinary school, he finished and gave a fight. He attended a graduation ceremony in July 4, 2003 graduating in his certificate of culinary course. His years went down after his graduation. His dreams dived inside the ocean and waiting to arise from the ocean someday. He attended dancing school in Airdance in 2002 and 2003 during his college years. But it couldn’t waited for him for his dreams.

 

Impatient he was and irresponsible, he lost his interests going back to his culinary life. Instead, he was addicted playing online games, browser games and other stuff of platform games. He only thought becoming as an animator. So he entered in First Academy of Computer Arts (in short, FACA) taking up his second course of digital arts. He now learned how to draw basic drawings. Because he restarted his hobbies making a lot of effort. He went back to his interests: dancing, writing and drawing in the field of Arts, Literature and Music. But his fate of his dreams doesn’t stop him right there. As the years went by, he broke his silence. His female cousin invited him entering networking in Unlimited Networking of Opportunities (or in short, UNO). He was familiarizing the products, gave a big shot if he could selling products. It didn’t work well for him. Stopping after five months gave a little break for him in October 2011. He was thinking joining in another networking group of VMobile, later on February 2012. He joined the Happy Walk 2012 in his birthday.

 

He thought he could helping out of his dreams with an advocacy for special children and for the unfortunate people having to get a job or business. His wisdom of his writing makes him proudly. He also entered two training courses in 2012. One was computer call center agent training and basic steps computer courses. He completed his two training courses and might used for the future references. He now achieved his faith for his achievements. His first-delivered speech, he spoke for a hundred educators, teachers and special education students for his speech in Alberto Magnus Building, College of Education, University of Santo Tomas (UST) last November 19, 2012. And recently he received his first visit in Cupertino as the guest judge for their dessert competition last February 15, 2013.

 

This special adult now achieved his achievements awaiting for his dreams to having working in show business and entertainment industry. He might give a shot for his dreams as an animator, a writer, a poet, a dancer, an entrepreneur, an actor and a dreamer. He has now a loading business and a member in Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines (in short DSAPI) last December 2012.

 

Returning in Neverland from where he started how as an special child in Cupertino, he showed his best of his life. Being like as a Peter Pan in a fictional story, this special adult achieves everything. As he believes everything is possible, he truly awaits for his next achievements of his life.

Celebrity crushes

Somehow I get a little information about the girl I really fall in love. Maybe one or two I might get a guess. But to tell you the truth honestly, I have a celebrity crushes before. My first celebrity crush way back when I was in elementary days was none other than, Antoinette Taus. Of course, it is good that you really look for the girl you really want to see her personally. But it takes guts and somehow I lose the way to get a chance to have conversation with Antoinette Taus. Both of us were Montessorians. But Antoinette back before was attending OB Montessori in San Juan. And I was attending Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo or simply called as MISA. It was that name before, but it stood out the name without the Antipolo word. Now it is called as Montessori Integrated School or in short as MIS. Looks like I am having a hard time looking for my background. But then again, this was called about me and my celebrity crushes.

 

Yes, I did have two dozen crushes before from elementary until college with a numerous crushes I have had hidden in my privacy life. Well I don’t want to spill the names. Someone will get hurt, someone will get personally to mention the crushes I have. Personally in my life got nothing to be achieved. Somehow I always got hurt when somebody knew about this. Yes, I got hurt someone’s else also. But honestly, they were happily for now.

 

After I have graduated from the school I’ve been attended in MISA, children of Francis Magalona was enrolled in the same school I was attending to. Name four of his children today were famous today. They were Maxene Magalona, Saab Magalona, Frank Magalona and Elmo Magalona. Both boys were good in singing like their father was. And Saab did have the same birthday with Maxene. And I was mentioning them in my school before I was attending. Honestly, I really didn’t know Maxene’s siblings before until today I knew already.

 

Back to the topic I was mentioning Antoinette, I firstly saw her before during my college. Both of us were graduating the same year of 2000. And I didn’t know that she was attending Ateneo de Manila University in Katipunan area. Barely I knew about her, to tell you the truth, it was the same fate I saw her. It was all because it happened so fast. I was having a lunch in Pad Thai restaurant behind the Shakey’s restaurant in Katipunan area. Little I knew, I saw her across about two tables away. She was so beautiful personally, but I didn’t get a chance to ask her politely or asked for her autograph. During before, the cellphone wasn’t introduced in the society. Only some in the society have had less in the population having a cellphone during the year I was attending college. So I decided to keep it myself. Maybe a little less knew in my life that I saw an actress before. Then it was a reality when you were out of high school years.

 

I’ve had been in Antipolo for 11 years of studying from elementary and high school. Although it wasn’t hard or easy for me, it was easily that I have coped with my problems. I didn’t know much of reality before. Because I have had in my mind I was in 6th grade graduating for 3rd commencement exercises in 1994. Well a few notices changed so fast, I got a little incident about this. I was bumped by this jeepney breaking a little in my shoulder joint. Then after that, I wasn’t able to move or enrolled to another school. None of the public schools before have had 7th grade. I was the last and only 7th grader in elementary. All of my classmates were all 6th graders. I was a little bit surprised that I have had advantages from them. Knowing that I repeatedly studying the same subjects I have had it before. So much to say and so much to express were all the advantages before. The disadvantages in reality, all public schools here in the Philippines surprisingly don’t have 7th grade.

 

What are the disadvantages? It’s literally simple and precisely argument among the families here in the Philippines. Not all families can’t afford to have children studying in 7th grade, so instead jumping to high school. Just like an intelligent student was accelerated. Even so, they don’t have disadvantages.

 

And the advantages, what are the qualities students looking for the school? It’s more of education in the country. Now the government were acting to have the K-12 education. Not all schools can adapt that. For me, it was more than you were keeping ready to study before entering the high school. That’s the advantage for me, and I can’t argue for other student body that is. Because normally, I have curious study of being having with Down syndrome. And I’ve accepted the truth. Accepting for itself welcomes the society makes so easy staying in positivity.

 

I was saying a little more of an introduction about Antoinette Taus. She was in the year I was in. 1981. She was a Virgo and I was between in Aquarius and Pisces. It was a little less or more having you to introduce her. And yes, the last time I saw her around was in The Voice singing talent-show.

 

Moving fast-forward in the a little early of 2000’s, I have had a little crushes back when I was in college. They were Danica Sotto and Nina Girado, the soul siren. Danica and I went to same school attending to the culinary school in Katipunan, it was Center for Culinary Arts, or in short CCA. But it was short back then when we were together. I got ahead graduating in culinary school and Danica graduated. So much to say or something I really didn’t remember anything. And Nina Girado, she was in Katipunan area before. She was attending in Miriam College she was studying. I saw her too back then. But the society in Katipunan area leveled me up. What I mean was a little introduction in a reality. And I was curious what I was thinking at the back of my head.

 

After a year I graduated from the culinary school, I felt depleted or nothing to feels empty to be inspired of. I have had no current celebrity crush in the years I was not in the mood. It was depressing years. From 2004 to 2009, I was a little in stage of frustration, depression and a mixed of little emotions I have had. Maybe a little social anxiety have stopped me there. I wasn’t in the mood not working anymore in my culinary experiences. I have stopped practicing I have skills in culinary. Instead, I got more addicted more in computer. I little did more interested in drawing and writing. Somehow I lost in my tracks thinking if I was able to go back what I was doing in my life. Then a little television addict came into my life that was started five years ago. It was 2008. Back then, I was also lost somewhere in that middle of the year 2008. I was now focus in drawing and writing. I thought writing makes me different. And at the back of my head, I saw a beautiful multi-media artist, Toni Gonzaga. Her skills into hosting, singing and acting made her different other than artists in the entertainment industry. And I got an awesome taste of her. It was beginning that I really liked her.

 

Well I really didn’t have much of her music studio albums. Only two studio albums I have had it before. It was Nikki Valdez and Antoinette Taus. Two of them were my crushes. Well of course, I got a chance having a taste to have autograph with Nikki Valdez. She was also in singing. What makes it different? I like girls who are in singing or acting in the same of the entertainment industry. Even so, I like more girls who were not so seriously. But Nikki almost left in the showbiz because she was married to the man she loved. That was why even a little fading away like a autumn passing through another season. Toni is a total package I want it having an autograph with her and also having with a photograph. I saw numerous celebrities before. But I was shocked when I saw big names like John Lloyd Cruz, Sarah Geronimo, Mark Bautista, Senator Jinggoy Estrada, Danny Javier and among others. Of course, Danny Javier was related in our family tree. Danny was my father’s first cousin. So much to speak, but to tell you the truth honestly, some of my lineage in my father’s side was getting to know importantly. Not that I knew Mark Bautista, Dingdong Avanzado and Pilar Pilapil were among my relatives in my father’s lineage of huge clan we have had.

 

I guessed I have had my emotional sides again. With mixed reactions I have right now is unquestionable. And of course, it was my first time I have paid my first visit to one of my huge inspirations was none other, Rico Yan. I have visited him last October 2012. And little I knew about him, I also knew him for a long time. Since the beginning he have had huge commercial he was in, I began let my mom to buy me that product. And of course, I got excited to use the product. And at the end of the long run, he became my huge inspiration after he died in Los Palmas in the day of Good Friday, 2002. It is exactly 11 years for now. And everyone are planning to celebrate Rico’s birthday on March 14, and the day he died on March 29. And it is Good Friday again for this year. I became shocked and grief having hearing him died. And the part of my life became torn and depressed. But life has to move on although he is already gone.

 

Back to the topics of celebrity crushes I am saying, Toni is now my ultimate celebrity crush. Every time I see her in commercial, it is more than asking her to go out with me although she is engage with Director Paul Soriano. Well, it takes many years achieving a goal marrying your partner. Being having a celebrity status sometimes takes a hiatus. Some of celebrity I know have hiatus already. I become too much obsess wanting to work with the entertainment industry as an actor, a dancer or something else I want to work related in entertainment industry. Right now, I am doing the same thing I am used loving from my heart as a writer, a poet and a justified citizen listening to the government and topics under the clouds, a limitless.

 

Aside Toni Gonzaga I have celebrity crushes for today’s generation, they are Julia Montes, Anne Curtis and Angelica Panganiban. Hahaha, that is not perfect for me waiting patiently when I will be marrying a partner in the future. Because despite having Down syndrome doesn’t stop me there. I don’t want to hide anymore but to accept it whole-heartedly. And it might come for me a big break in the future. It is that they are beautiful humans in the human society. And the human society is a perfect conversation to talk about but not having to create an issue. Making an issue breaks gently as a controversial issue. Hmm, if it makes true for that. In my conditions, somehow a little road for me is waiting patiently where I can find a suitable partner for me. Because I believe someday a time will calling me to marry a girl for me. And I am not in a hurry to get a partner in my life. So much to say and so much to ask doesn’t respond me there, but normally it is who you are and the character you are right now.

 

Among the new shows I watch in a television for now are May Isang Pangarap, Kahit Konting Pagtingin, Juan Dela Cruz, Ina Kapatid Anak and Kailangan Ko’y Ikaw in the afternoon and night respectively in the channel shows I am watching. And starting on Monday, the new show Apoy Sa Dagat will starting right after Ina Kapatid Anak. And of course, the well-most loved series I always watched was Be Careful With My Heart. The synopsis I am writing about Be Careful With My Heart is still unfinished because the loved program I am watching is still on the run. Hopefully Sir Chief and Maya will get married soon. Because I am waiting Sir Chief will have a chance to kiss Maya’s hand to kiss or in the cheeks, or the most I want it to be happen is a kiss in lips. That is exactly what I have in my mind. Jodi Santa Maria is playing her character as Maya and Richard Yap is the leading man in the longest running daytime morning series Be Careful With My Heart series as Richard. And the climax is not still there. Because when the climax reaches, that’s the end of the story in the end.

 

I don’t know about within the cast I know in ABS-CBN. Since the part of my life before was all shows watching from my childhood. The only shows I was watching before was less in the defunct name of ABC-5 (now as TV-5 that Manny Pangilinan bought the network) and GMA-7. It was Love Stories in ABC-5 and cartoon shows in GMA-7 I only watched it before. And the starting point gives me turning around is Channel 2 or also known as ABS-CBN I’ve been watching for a long time in my life. Although I knew little names in GMA-7 were my friends working already in GMA-7 network or sister companies that network bought and built. But I won’t name them here in my article I am writing about my celebrity crushes.

remembrance of things awry

\"When to sessions of sweet silent thought, I summon remembrance of things awry!\" --- Toto Gonzalez\'s parody of Marcel Proust

Parker Myles

Parker is a little brother, a toddler, a kindy kid, and has Down syndrome. Follow his story.

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