I’ve finally understand what’s the true love means. First of all, I don’t have a girlfriend for entire of my story. To cut in short, I was able to fall in love three times already. Those three times were difficult make to happen a good ending. But it turned out like a bad ending. Such a beautiful waste of my life made me worrying too much of my own story.

 

I fell in love in writing 16 years ago when I first heard about of the literature world. But it came to my life when I shared of my story about the love cycle that I have from my past. Past were extremely hard to forget but it learned me quickly from my love troubles. And of course, for the first time in my life in 1997 when the literature world came into my life. It was not an awful experience, it was such waste less and much trouble thinking about it. It didn’t matter to me.

 

1997 was an introduction of my sophomore year in high school story of my life. It was exactly not thinking about what to meant to be such in my life. It mattered most of my time I’ve been looking for the perfect girl to dream about. Also that year, it made me clear that I wasn’t an ordinary human. But I was a special human with dreams and aspirations to tell. To cut in short, I’ve had a mosaic Down syndrome. I’ve discovered on my own going home from my school. My biology teacher said it all, and then I’ve asked my parents. Which it’s why the truth came out. It leaked my story awful but inspiring.

 

And of course, as one year gone by, junior year came to me inspiringly to me so special. I can’t wait to dance someone if I knew would like to dance with me. The junior prom was February. And so I waited. But it came in 1998 with an explosive thoughts entering at the back of my head. It jumped out like a beans. And then I firstly wrote my first poem on 10th December of 1998. Two months before the junior prom, I’ve been searched from everywhere I could asked from my school mates. But none of them really didn’t like that much.

 

The junior prom was already in a month. But of course, junior prom have maybe the better dance for me. We did soiree already in freshman year and sophomore year. But in reality, love fits for everyone to make it the love real. This junior prom was a great experience. And of course, I was named best dressed man of the night. And I wasn’t awarded for the king of the prom. The award didn’t fit me well but I’ve accepted as the best dressed man of the night. And so the senior prom also came. The junior prom was better than the senior year.

 

I’ve realized of love being like that. I wasn’t looking for the girl. I was looking for the person who accepted me. The first girl I’ve loved was a shattered dreams to me. It made me to cry and fell to my own knees. I’ve felt the agony. And so the pain in my heart released from my anger. In the other thoughts, I felt happily I can pass the problems.

 

College years was a typical years for every student who needed to finish their course seriously. Just look at me after high school, everyone have finally accepted who I was and what I became being a proud of my own feet. With a crowd of audience gave an outstanding ovation when my name was called, that high school was over. In college years, things were a little different situation and a little of mixed emotions.

 

After one batch to another, I’ve stopped after third batch. I’ve said that I can finished the culinary course. It was really difficult to make coping my own problems. One of my love cycles here in my college years have also waved goodbye after a roller coaster mutual understanding. It wasn’t that in a relationship. When they said we were in the school campus, we were in. But when we were outside, I felt my loss because it wasn’t a serious one.

 

Jumping forward to the present, I became clearly visible. Love cycle was a greater fall or maybe a raise from your experiences. I stood amount of love I take from my parents, my family, my relatives and my friends. In the world of reality, there was never given a chance of third chance. In 2011, I’ve experienced again like it was in my college years. And now that I knew about pseudo-relationship was all about. It mattered me already. It felt sadness and bitterness. But I’ve stopped knowing her. Then I’ve moved on my own life.

 

What do you want for the girl? Is she really for you? For my whole life, none of the girls really accepted me wholly. I’ve stopped reading my radar looking for other girls. After a senior prom, there was an enchanted prom that the organization I was joining, they were inviting to date a girl once again. It was a great experience. She was my third prom partner of my life. And I’ve said to myself, “I can look again for another girl who can accepted me whole.”

 

It was an amazing gift that God gave me from these blessings that I can pass my problems by doing on my own. But sometimes I need a little conversation between my parents and to my relationship. When can I do this again? And after I’ve visited Rico Yan last March in his birthday. The search was almost complete. Not until someone have asked me and said, “can I have relationship with you?” She asked me first.

 

I nodded somewhere in my thoughts thinking where would the relationship go for this right opportunity. Then I’ve said yes when she really loved me. And I’ve answered her back with, “I love you too.” With those four little words you were saying means a lots of love you give it to her.

 

It came unexpectedly in my life after we’ve met for the first time. Maybe she was seeing me like a first love in the eyes. But she have had a boyfriend before. None of it mattered to me now because I’ve accepted her. Because she accepted me also the way I moved and I talked this way. What if the world tumble across the universe? What it would look like when you meet unexpectedly? Crazy and weird as you may notice. In my little faith in heaven, there was always an opportunity for the love will bring. Looking for my radar again have finally stopped in a moment. When the feeling came it out, it felt me a happiness of love. What I have seen thoughts of love, I’ve always thought I can imagine how true love means.

 

The moment of an answer, it was because she was my first girlfriend and would it be my last girlfriend I will ever have. And the quote have said, “Of all the things you’ve seen it, don’t worry about conclusion in the ending because there’s always a beginning of new love.” “Love is not to know about your partner, you must go deeper in your relationship and better to know herself half of the answers you will discover.” “Crazy as it may sounds like the love will bring weird, but you must have to know that you’ve really love her most of your life and give it your the best time you have. “

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