No labels as Down syndrome: Conquering the new fear

“Every single day you ask me why I am not as seen as Down syndrome. It’s because it’s not a hindrance to me anymore. Disability as they speak, or not as disability as the others seems they don’t believe in it. One day, I ask them also why I am standing in my little shadows. I conquer my fears and doubts that has been casting away all my hatred, depression and frustrations from my life. I firmly believe that I also can do what others can do – in order to reach the highest goals.“

~Status message in facebook, March 16, 2014, Sunday, 9:17 p.m.

 

No labels as Down syndrome: Conquering the new fear

 

It helped me to think at the back of my head that it would be another conquering one of my greatest fear: social sharing. It was the time that built my character that I spoke from my words. And sometimes when I shared my thoughts to anybody else, I would like to share my greatest fear – doubting myself to nothing.

 

I have being what you called me as a disability. And being as a disability for me don’t label me anymore as being having with Down syndrome. I set my days to be told and the days have been set me free. I always tell myself if I can do it more like as a motivational speaker. And I was once a guest speaker in University of Santo Tomas who I spoke to graduating students and educational students as they are becoming special education teachers someday. I was welcomed and became red teary from that moment.

 

One student who approached me in the facebook and chatted with me if I can go to the University of Santo Tomas. I was glad to take an opportunity to speak in the crowd. And a crowd was filled different participating special schools from Padre Burgos, Cupertino and from Metro Manila area, with teachers and volunteers in participating schools. I was scared at the time. But since it was first time. My anxiety became once my fear.

 

What is my greatest fear? Anxiety that it was called. But I loved to talk to someone I really knew. To someone I barely know, I wouldn’t talk to the stranger. My parents have really said to me that I wouldn’t talk to the strangers. But when the time I walked-in to the school I wanted really had a job. It offered me as an assistant teacher job. I met a wonderful boss. And I thought at the back of my head that he really was a bossy that time. Little by little, I became part with him also. Day by day when we talked, and night by night that I chatted even in text messages.

 

What was my fear again? It got lost. The anxiety inside of me has changed. And able to talk to new stranger, it coped from my problems. I’ve had been in denial stage since the day I’ve graduated the year of 2003. But from my hindrance before, the learning stage I’ve been through. It was dated back since the year of 1997. I learned that I’ve being condition as Down syndrome. And what it told me? It ate my pride. And I ate the word of anxiety. I became lost. I became desperate finding my answers. And years that I’ve had been in depression, frustration and hatred. What I have become to have my condition. Was it okay to move forward? And I have said that I was really lost.

 

My life since 1997 up to the present has been changed from the learning stage to in denial stage and to acceptance stage.

 

Learning stage

 

I love science before even up to now. And I began loving to draw even higher creative details to imaginative details. That moment I learned how I made science making real traditional artist. I drew a thousand science pictures from one book. And I was once a hundred percent student who loved drawing arts in science. In fact, when I found myself having with Down syndrome in my sophomore year in high school. I’ve withdrew with my stance and my post. I lost my confidence. So I hid from my emotions. That was the year of 1997 when I was still in my sophomore year in high school.

 

In denial stage

 

Knowing that I’ve been graduated from high school in the year of 2000 and moved on to the culinary years that I’ve entered in my prestigious culinary school in the Philippines, Center for Culinary Arts. And the moment I stepped in that school, all the things were different from my previous school. I lost my confidence. And I lost my conscience making up where I will go. My dreams shattered. University of the Philippines, University of Santo Tomas and La Salle College was the top choices I’ve wanted to go in. If I went in UP, I would be bested in theatre arts. If I went in UST, I would be bested in music. Or if I went in La Salle, I would be fitted in multimedia arts, music or any related course that I went in. But my pride fell. So I listened to my mother’s advices. I ate my own words and my anxiety grew powerful.

 

Anxiety made me angry every day and every night. Eventually I went deeper in my frustrations and depression mood. It was because what it happened during my sophomore year in high school. I learned the fact that I’ve being what it takes to be as a hindrance having with Down syndrome. I dived into my fears and doubts that I couldn’t reached in my biggest dreams – to enter in the entertainment industry. My mom enrolled me in dancing lessons during I was in my culinary years. And I enjoyed my stay and learned the basics of dancing. Eventually I learned how to dance hip-hop, ballet and traditional dancing also.

 

I felt my agony. I felt bitterness. I felt my depression. And my frustration would became wider and wider. When my two elder sisters were here, they stopped me drowning into fears as I almost went to suicide. But I couldn’t do it. Because I was afraid of myself. And the anxiety grew bigger and bigger inside of my personality.

 

Acceptance stage

 

The year of 2011 came into my life when I started to post some products I’ve wanted to have retailer down to my name. It was then, the networking came to my life, or so as to be called as multi-level marketing. I was fresh blood and didn’t knew the word of networking. So I joined in June 2011. Petrified that I was inside the networking company. All in the audience inside the establishment building shouted and said, “I am abnormal to become richer one day.” One word that has changed me instantly. What was the word I was called during my elementary and high school days? It was the word of sped. That word derived from the word of retarded. I began to wake up in reality and stopped what I was doing things that I didn’t like.

 

I only lasted in networking days about five months, almost as six months regular employee. Since that day, I’ve accepted my condition being having with Down syndrome and grew my confidence. But I didn’t know the genetically lessons about Down syndrome. I’ve been introduced through my relative’s friend who was been in Davao. They were both volunteers because they were both taking in special education course. Then Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines has been introduced into my ears in January 2012. I went to listen awareness in February annual Happy Walk, the yearly advocating month of Down syndrome.

 

And I became a member in December 2012. Blessings poured me down. Last year was a roller coaster. I didn’t have a job. My sister was getting married in September. What should I do? I asked myself. Then one incident came to my life. I did have experience to have a girlfriend last May 2013. But it only lasted 8 days of relationship. Then it pushed me getting a new job. So I walked in. And the unexpected job came to my life – being as an assistant sped teacher.

 

Anxiety acceptance stage

 

The last and not the least stage is my anxiety acceptance stage. A hindrance of Down syndrome is no longer part of my life or better to be called as no labels as Down syndrome. My boss said it was better for me to move on. And I did.

 

All my anxiety inside of my personality exchanged with new meanings: determination, acceptance, appreciation and confidence. Four words from one word, I drained all of my anxiety sickness. And the anxiety sickness I already overcame.

 

No labels as Down syndrome, what else is new? It decides to be conquering new fears.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2014 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Every Life is New (Second anniversary article)

The world shows how we care for each and every of us. And I, included here, will also know how I am learning through all the stages I’ve been through. Determination shows me how I am really going to my dreams. Dreams are not that away from me. Although there are many clues in my life today that is showing in this year of 2014, and all that I am going to do is acting to my knowledge and learn how to get there in that stage.

 

More each and every day I see myself in the distant future. If I am not here today, I wouldn’t be going ahead  to my dreams. But sometimes I also need how life is also important to our daily lives. Appreciation is all I need where I can stand on my own. And sometimes when I feel lonely, all I need is to pray in few minutes or more and ask what is hidden in my confession prayers. Prayers are also important for each problems we have in life. We need a lot intentionally prayers through intercession.

 

Too much asking from God sometimes doesn’t give right away in your place. Praying in a long time-frame will have a process and it has to be constant for you to understand. It don’t give in and also it doesn’t count how many reasons or chances will have to go in your place. If you have too many reasons in your life and you want it right away. That doesn’t count. It gives a long sacrifice and silence when you are giving yourself with Him above.

 

Build an foundation in your place is also part of growing up in your life. Acceptance is one of the building processes to believe in yourself and it’s also part of growing matured of your life. It doesn’t count the way you can say that you’ve move on already. Acceptance is also part of growing who you are right now. Building yourself to other’s shoes doesn’t build you up. It has to be you. Don’t count or don’t rely to others. Help yourself. And always be conscious what you are doing good choices and replace it from bad choices you have in your life.

 

Today what I have now is a foundation of yourself to build up your character. When you find yourself in the distant future, trust with your life and submit yourself to Him above. Confidence needs a lot of practice and it takes time to have patience in your life. When you don’t have them both, then you are not ready to face conquering your fears and doubts. Racing through your life, when you are in trials or problems you are right now, gives you more to understand in your situation. I may be not a perfect person, but says the Lord that you are perfect to Him because you know of yourself than any person knows you well. He alone knows what you are doing and what you give back the situation you are in. Because the bigger confidence you have now with Him above, you believe in yourself to Him.

 

Every life is about changing everyday and night. It has special meanings in occasions. It don’t bring good or bad karma in your life. But it says that you underestimate it your own self. Believe it more to Him and it begins to believe it in your self. Every challenge in your life is a temporary shelf life. Don’t bring yourself to hatred. Hatred may bring you to frustration, depression or even in trouble times in your life.

 

Every life is new when you face yourself near the future. You cannot see yourself in the future if you are not doing it actively. Unless sacrifice some things you don’t have like gadgets or something that is valuable for you. When you enter your life in second life, all the things you have now are temporary things in your life.

 

Every life is new when you know the dreams are waiting for you. It doesn’t create the shortcomings. It creates new imaginations or a cloud of full dreams above your wildest imaginations. It also creates your confidence, acceptance, appreciation and determination in your life. Because when you believe for yourself. You adore your life even more better and you will guide even bigger dreams to fill in your own shoes.

 

NOTES:

 

Every Life is New is the second anniversary article this year 2014. It also marks the 493rd year of Philippines history since March 16, 1521. This is also the third book covering new chapters, new series, new wisdom quotes and there will be a lot new articles coming this year.

 

The new second series Assistant’s corner will starting soon after it ended from the first series Assistant’s desk with 13 pages in its first chapter. Also the second series of Living in my own shoes being as Down syndrome  will also starting soon after it ended from the first series Living being as Down syndrome with 10 pages in its first chapter. Living in my own shoes being as Down syndrome will tackle more interesting topics and new experiences that it will take place bringing back the life before when I am still in denial stage.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2014 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Growth success: Going back to the light

“Living around inside the fears you always have pain, is it okay to move forward? But sometimes, I always listen to my conscience and think three times before doing anything not so good. But living around inside the doubts you always have inside of you, you can’t move forward a bit because you are afraid something you can expose the truth. Doubts can set you free when you know you believe yourself. Nevertheless, the world we have today is not a perfect world. We always have to conquer what we can knowledge for ourselves. And today it’s a perfect words to say that you can do it rather doubting yourself more.“

~Status message in facebook, March 12, 2014, Wednesday, 7:13 p.m.

 

Conquering your darkness might control more in fears and doubts. When we are scared we cannot move on and hurt someone else, there is something inside of you cannot free yourself. In the past experiences what I have had, there was always an explanation why we were always doubting ourselves even in our abilities or skills that we’ve acquired. But the experience that I’ve had, there was nothing to do but to blame always from somebody else, or to yourself also. Thinking at the back of my head thought even more greater than lesser to think. But lesser thoughts I’ve had inside was a belief. Knowing myself was not good. Acceptance was still going on before. But nevertheless, it always happened for me before that I was been in denial stage.

 

What can you make decide that you are going back to the light?

 

There is always one option and that is something to change, an acceptance. Freeing yourself from any doubts and fears inside from your heart will blossoming you more even blessed in any ways of believing. I don’t have fear that can control me. But my emotions will always ask at the end of the day, ‘what I have done positivity today and not to think negativity.‘ It is always a formation to have believing yourself.

 

The story of Growth success: Going back to the light

 

The darkness of betraying of yourself could lead to suicide. But it never happened to me. I was once doubting myself in the past years for not believing what I can do more as much as I can do. I dared to myself to experience in electrocution once more or to get an accident again. But it never did. Those two incidents in the past happened when I was in my childhood days. It was during the summer before entering fourth grade and before graduating sixth grade in elementary moving at least to high school. When I was after my third grade in my elementary days, I was once electrocuted. And before graduating in sixth grade in my elementary days, it happened to me that I got a transportation vehicle almost hit it me. But it was a minor injury in my shoulder bone.

 

I always looked for an answers everywhere I could go to. But when at the end of the tunnel, a white light would have been asked me and said, ‘are you ready to go back and wanting to go in the trials you would have pass?‘ And I answered to my doubts and said, ‘I would never destroy my emotions but yes, I would test myself to pass all the trials in my life today.‘

 

Regardless to say that I would been success rather conquering my fears and my doubts. Doubts would climb to your fears. And fears will feeling you out if you could continue to your life. Life is always a mystery when or where you could think, but almost every seconds in your life you would be a thought if you would be a burden or as a mistake in your life. Being having with my condition as Down syndrome is not a mystery. It’s a gift. And I put myself in the right place. Being with my disability is not my hindrance to me anymore. What I could feel right now if somebody would fill in my boots? You couldn’t say to yourself a success. But look for the right community if they could please you and believe what you are doing a good place you are never been.

 

My world is not a perfect place. And it’s not anybody could understand the meaning of being as a disability. Going back to the light is one small step that will replace to a bigger step achieving you more to a greater heights. I’ve been afraid in 14 years before from the year I knew I have Down syndrome since 1997 until 2011. Grieving from my mistakes, I would seek more from my experiences and replace with a happiest thoughts in your life. Living in a fear and a doubt in your life would give a greater lesson in your life. But whenever I tell myself if I am not success or not, I would lose a single sight if I am not mistaken. Tell me if it’s wrong to say. Doubtless thoughts are good chances to survive longer in this part of this world. And numberless word quotes would never give you a perfect meaning.

 

I share my life to the beginning of this blog. But whenever I share my life with, it should have been whatever I need to be in a right place to be as a friendly person. And I would surrender my life to the Lord he has given to me.

 

With this so many experiences in my life, in this part of article of Growth success: Going back to the light, it would been better to share my truth and honestly words I’ve been putting together to form a greatest experience – an acceptance.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2014 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

No labels as Down syndrome

“The key of success life is to live peaceful, harmoniously, optimistic and free to open your mind to one of happiness times. I always think free flow at the back of my head never believe to sadness, sorrowful, hurtful or believing to negative thoughts. Seeing my future to unfold will realize how important trials or problems will test me. No matter what makes depressed me, I will stand way out that being having with Down syndrome will be no longer as my label but to act as normal. I am who I am. And I believe in happiness no matter troubles will bring me in.”

~Status message in facebook, January 27, 2014, Tuesday, 8:28 p.m.

 

It changes my life from the past to what I am standing right now. When I encountered more of my problems before stating I was in depression and frustration times, I was always looking myself down to the mirror before the typhoon in Manila hit last September 26, 2009, Saturday morning. It was then I looked always how I was unchanged looking myself in the mirror. I was thinking at the back of my head I was locking in the cave no wondering that I would ever come back to see the light.

 

When I saw a light at the end of cave, I always thought that something was missing about myself. It is a matter of acceptance giving myself to change more about myself and to the people who really loves me much. Giving a chance that I have Down syndrome, mosaic Down syndrome that indicates two copies of chromosomes are normal while another extra copy of chromosome has trisomy 21 Down syndrome.

 

Normally I always not study on my own how to base what is really have to have Down syndrome. When I joined Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines two years ago, the 20th Happy Walk on February 19, 2012. That was Sunday. One rare gift could send to me. And it was a real gift blessing I received from one of my angels I really believed. Angels are my beliefs. And somehow it changes me when they are seeing whether I am doing wrong or I am doing right. I am not perfect who I am used to before or even until now. But I am also a gift from God that He send me to see my visualize my purpose in my life.

 

I read Purpose Driven Life book before. It was then I realized that book was important to me. But the typhoon washed all the books I loved to read. And one of them is Purpose Driven Life.

 

My purpose in my life has beginning to change my visions. When I was not able to finish my second choice to digital course in 2006 and until now, I was somehow changed my mindset if I can study again. My third choice today is looking forward to study in special education if I can budget all my savings and turn it all good choice to able looking forward to have a four year course. But on the other side, I will still have my own business creating my unique line – creating more greeting cards in different sizes, pocket books, novels, quotes book and many freshest ideas to make more. And that is how the name of Itsmikki Studio change me as well. But the connection to my wildest dreams if someday will achieve. I will be able to make a movie somehow, or a television show, or something that creates my vision. So I can let other disabilities to work with me as well as the label says that there is no label of being disability allows here on earth.

 

God always says to me that Jesus Christ will be always our savior to change us, He will be remain to rescue us from the sins we make from him. But we always do what we can do to change us. But it will be my faith to remain as catholic no matter what. I am looking always no matter what you have religion you believe into, the relationship with God is most important.

 

Seeing no labels as Down syndrome will no longer be part of my life. But I always believe what I can do no matter trials or problems will come after me. The secrets will always open to the truth. And the truth will set you free no matter you have today. And you will see the light at the end of the cave.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2014 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

From in denial stage to acceptance

As life went on to another stage, another scenario and another life book chapters, I was looking forward to a brighter days. But I will tell you how I am lucky where I am going to the right path today. Soon but not so sooner, it will take time to me leading my new future. Probably I am not looking for a work in entertainment industry but staying good working here in the school as an assistant teacher. Well probably, it might knock my doors if I can go to entertainment industry or maybe I will go modeling career instead. But I am assuming that I still have a work in school.

 

Seven months that I was working as an assistant teacher already. It was meant for me to follow my own dreams whether I shall not breaking my promises as a dancer, as an artist, as a photographer and as a writer too. I may sound an ambitious person, but I am as well as an optimistic and limitless person who have dreams to follow on my own.

 

Let me a recap in the past three years already from 2011. I was beginning to accept my condition having with my disability. July 15, 2011 was the beginning to open my eyes I was able to hear some networkers (who were working in multi-level marketing companies such as 1Bro, VMobile, Forever Living, UNO, etc.) calling themselves as an abnormal. But their term to call themselves as an abnormal, they were referring to become successful and rich people. It was against all odds when I lasted working with UNO days from June to October 2011. Then after a few months later, I also joined to another networking company the defunct VMobile for selling their load products indicating that they were still recruiting some people to add their money to go rich. What can you do if you are selling those load products? But mine was different.

 

After I went back to my old provider in July 2012, the D-Loads. VMobile gave me an another lesson never to go back to the networking days. Because I heard some millionaire in VMobile referring to some mongee as ngongo (ngongo means as in english as an inappropriate term for speaking verbally to Down syndrome and other disabilities as well). He was a selfless person who was using a word deriving from as a shortcut from mongoloid. Ouch!

 

The time I was already subsiding my life going back to reality. I’ve attended my first seminar of Early Intervention Seminar in August 2012 who was then the wife of a president of DSAPI introduced to some new parents in the seminar as well. I was shocked when new parents was amazed from I became today as a high-functional intellectual disability person. To tell the truth, all of these blessings kept coming in for me, I was always to accept what was right from wrong. Whenever it was wrong, I’ve never made to accept it. Rather I’ve accepted the right blessings coming for me.

 

Hence, the new membership identification card was made during the Christmas party 2012. I became a member of Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines or DSAPI. My angels told me that I have to fixed my life today. And so also, I made a new historical date to my name that I’ve decided to becoming a special adult advocate for Down syndrome. But before the Christmas party, I was also invited by an UST student president who I talked my first short inspirational speech in their school. To become a new special advocate, I was aware that this was the track helping myself in a brighter future.

 

Last February 2012 was my first Happy Walk to attend the event and was also my birthday. But my second Happy Walk 2013 was even getting to know in a community better and better. Some new parents had to meet me. And I was amazed someone finally recognized my talent in writing an article here in my studio as well. I became also as an aspirant to many parents who have had their special child with Down syndrome just like me. I was working alone independently without a knowledge my parents knew about me. But at the end of the day, I told them honestly where I was going to this place.

 

Last year was a huge blessings from me. When I’ve applied in many applications from NBI clearance, passport, police clearance, my first PWD identification card and a medical certificate. And I didn’t know along the way that this was my girlfriend proved me that I have to push myself having to get a work ahead. Even if I did, then it probably both of us have had to decide to go back in any ways of living to work. My ex-girlfriend right now don’t have work. But I didn’t know myself either that I became a regular to the school where I was working as an assistant teacher.

 

The next thing it is approved for this year of 2014, I will becoming to sign a contract for having another year extension to my work hopefully as a productivity person as well. And to this day very moment, last two days I have had a tryout in bowling of Special Olympics hoping I will compete someday in Special Olympics. But I am determining to have my way of my path to success growth of my life.

 

That was my part accepting my condition having with mosaic Down syndrome. It doesn’t take me who I am, but I am happy for what I am today. Having part of this society makes me challenging. What challenges are telling me today, they are for my future, present and the past. What past is already past? I’ve been in denial stage before. And now I’m ready for my blessings to come moving forward for me.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2014 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Should I move or not?

Day after day and night after night, I can’t sleep very well occasionally. But to tell you the truth, it seems my head hurts a little backwards instead getting steps forward. I can’t be confused easily. But I can confuse by daydreaming every now and then. What’s the matter from me?

 

Student after student, teacher after teacher and everything is getting losing in the school ground. Night after night, I’ve been repeatedly dreaming in sequences every now and then. And the bad is, I’ve been missing someone in the middle at the back of my head. Is it someone I’ve been reminding myself in the past? Or someone is nothing compare in the present times. What should I do? There are many times that I can’t be like this.

 

I may be dismay in my situation. But I can’t wake up in reality someone is missing in action. The teacher before working in our school is kinda cute, but I can’t have crush on her. I can’t explain, but I really don’t like her attitude. Is it because of me or is it because someone losing on the ground?

 

And the other thing is, when someone is leaving inside the school, there is someone who can replace the replacement of leaving student. I can’t tell what is going on. Is this the plan from above? Hmm…I can’t notice that either. Two students already and I can’t assume that I really miss terribly about them. They are already attach to me. What can I do to erase my attachments to the students that I really love them? Hmm….I really can’t tell either at the back of my head.

 

Then it come upon to my teacher who I’ve been assisting with her all day through the afternoon. I’ve been hiding my confessions to have a crush on her for a long time. And the terrible good news come. My boss said if I really do have crush on her, then I said it’s a yes. It was really weird and awkward for me really. But to tell you the truth. It was her amusing talent in teaching to those kids. She never expressed stress to me. Neither the way she exposed other things in her life that I began to have crush on her. And she is leaving so soon.

 

And nothing compares with my life before. I’ve been getting busier and busier in the school. And I’ve been lacking of my own services to get have an article on time on my studio site as well. And I’ve been getting a lot of stress lately. The problem is, should I move on or not with my life now?

 

Things are not getting easily as of now. I’ve been thinking at the back of my head to get another sideline. Should I move or not and get renew my status about that? I don’t know with myself either ways I’ve been thinking another business I could think of. My goals next year are getting closer everyday because of my existence of my work experience at the school. But the goals there are not getting that easily. I should do something with my body work out or my life will tear me apart.

 

My lifestyle also change because of my work ethics. I’ve been eating rice less nowadays because of my long-term diet, rice less and being as a vegetarian. Being as a vegetarian also proves you are really healthy. But there is some days I’ve called it – a meat day. Meat day for me have to expose my eating habit to explore to eat less about meat. But some of those unhealthy dishes are off from me. And I really meant that I can’t that dish anymore. I’ve been practicing for six years already. One dish after another one dish, this dish and that dish should not been eating anymore. I really have been practicing already.

 

But the other half of my ideas are really hard to consume eating less about meat at the back of my head. Should I move on or not?

 

Relationship, business, lifestyle and other options of my life that I’ve really putting at the back of my head thinking if I really have to move on or not. The plans are not easily to get rid of that. Just because I don’t want to, but there are some other ways also. You have to do some good points and have to replace the bad points in your life. People will discover your growth through your experiences. And I hope things are getting back in the right track. I’ve been losing my ground also in my life.

 

But I said earlier it cannot replace if someone is leaving so soon enough. People cannot change but yourself instead can make it a change. You have freedom to think at the back of your head and have freedom to have choosing either bad or good stuff also. And now I’m becoming nearly getting matured at my age. I have Down syndrome. What can you expect also?

 

In this part of my growth of my life, I’ve made moving on already with an acceptance being part of my condition. With my special condition, there are slightly changes in my life. And little by little is getting improving in my life. And I learned from my experiences also. People reminded me and advised me also. I’ve been getting new good feedbacks and I really like it. But there are some bad old feedbacks in my life also. And I’ve been teaching myself through my self-teaching about learning from experiences. If the right path chooses you the good stuff, the reward will come in each time of your life and believe it.

 

Should I move or not is an article about myself in present, past and in the the future. It reminds me to have been teaching myself in self-discipline, self-teaching lessons and self-determination. The various lessons come in different occasions. And I have to get myself in a good direction than getting myself in a bad direction in my life.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2013 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Running around circles chasing dream after dream

What would you understand if I keep chasing my dreams becoming an inevitable dream – an entertainer? Or perhaps, if I would join in the writing circle dreams? Or another one, if I would join with Disney becoming also an animator? What would you do if you have too many dreams you want to achieve all the same time?

 

Questions, questions, questions! if you are in the middle of the class and ask this to your classmates, “what is your dreams?” In my opinion, I would still care keeping to chase after my dreams. This would be one of a lifetime already in your mind. Every person in the world wants to be part inside of the television, radio or in the fim, of course. Inevitable dreams. Chasing like a cheetah would recommend to get a high reward for you. But then, how would I know if I already get it?

 

Answers, answers, answers. Sometimes there are a lot of questions to be asked. Frequently asked questions may tell you a lot of discussions to be read for. But then, how would I prefer my choices? Is it possible to get new ideas? Or perhaps brightest idea you ever invent and then, the brightest idea will collapse to someone’s doing it already for you. Ouch! It really hurts for you, for me or for anybody else. Maybe that is why I keep running around circles chasing dream after dream.

 

I may have a condition with special needs. Yes, I’m a special adult. Three decades and two years already to be exact in this date, I would prefer chasing in local entertainment here in our country Philippines. But in other countries, I would take a chance to get prove that I could do this too. Schedules are inevitable to meet the deadline. Submissions of everything you need in the table sometimes that your boss is quite well-tempered. She will grab you on your neck and telling you, “why on earth where are you living? And why are not finish yet with your work to me. The deadline is today.“

 

Chasing after the cut’s dreams of hopes becoming someone on your place takes time to get it done. But somehow, I lost my way already. I spent writing for almost 14 years and 11 months already. Becoming a poet before with a thousand unpublished literary works on the line took me for granted. But after two years and three months of acceptance wouldn’t give me way either. I was also been in seven years and seven months already being as a jobless person. But how lucky I was turned to be that I had my cellphone loading business in seven years and four months for that I’ve had an extra income in my life.

 

Take that as a notes: 14 months and 11 months (poet becoming a writer), two years and three months (acceptance), 7 years and 7 months (jobless period) and 7 years and 4 months (business-related status).

 

I wouldn’t make a history if I can do that. It would be an infinite words to say that I still can do this even if I’m older already. Being older doesn’t make you stand in your way. It’s the new chapter for you and new blank pages will come on your way to be written. Plus a whole of adventures in your life will come peacefully and heartwarming. To this point, I would never leave running around circles chasing dream after dream.

 

What are my dreams? My dreams are already making history. Perhaps it is easier the best to wait. Surprises will surely unlock your wilderness. But it never leaves me something new in my life. What would you do if you have multi-talents? Do it purposely in your life and make positivity in your life. Without it, how would your purpose of your happiness in a first place? And it is a shame if you would leave a mark about your talent. I may have a condition. But I still never give up.

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2013 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Assistant’s Desk page 2

“Every chromosomes count in every kid or adult with Down syndrome that they have to know with blessings in life.”  ~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

With many normal possibilities in life, sometimes we all know ourselves in different religions, cultures, nations and also part of our history that we all have capabilities in life. Like me, for example, is a big opportunity in life when I am part writing in my history about what I can do.

 

Being as an assistant teacher is a big opportunity for me. I didn’t expect to come bigger role in life. When I was started in my work, I usually encountered with big possibilities in life – to become a role model in each that I have had handling special children with autism, ADHD and Down syndrome. Well, in my part, I have Down syndrome. I don’t hold my hindrance to become part of it. I’ve accepted the whole situation in my life now.

 

Let’s rewind in my past. I was intimidating my whole life being having hindrance to become my part of my life in the past. I didn’t accept myself of who I was to be. For being part written in my life, I’ve whole-heartedly accepted to become part of one. I’ve read an article which it is the 8 people with Down syndrome who are making history. Here’s the link below:

 

8 People with Down syndrome Who Are Making History

http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/living-and-loving-with-down-syndrome-eliana-tardio/8-people-with-down-syndrome-who-are-making-history/

 

I’ve read the whole part of an article every time I read all about. Then I wonder and realize and asked myself, “Am I still dreaming or is it possible that I can become to be part of them?” That is where I have to start thinking at the back of my head that I could be one of them. I could be the 9th or somewhere there in the article. I have no idea. But to be part of the history, my boss said that I really could be one of them who could be inspired the whole nation here in the Philippines.

 

I’ve met Brina Maxino who is the brightest student graduated in her alma mater high school as the top in her class as a valedictorian. She has Down syndrome, just like me. She can speak clearly. And I can speak clearly too. In next years, she could be like me.

 

Mosaic trisomy 21 Down syndrome is what I have. But I don’t know if Brina and I are the same in mosaic area. But I don’t want to talk about that.

 

Back to the assistant’s desk, I’ve managed to get out of my hindrance test in my life after two years. I was really in denial stage. Because nobody told me that I’ve had Down syndrome in my life. It could be anybody’s fate. I really couldn’t tell about it.

 

When I’ve first met one of two bosses, the first one was Sir Renan. He couldn’t thought at the back of his head that I’ve really had Down syndrome. He could doubt on me. But he realized later on that I’ve had on it. Because of my slow development and slow reactions for somehow, but I really could have a bigger room of opportunity to become a good model.

 

After one week, their secretary called me. It was one that I’ve remembered. I thought her name was Elaine. It was Allaine. I’ve heard for the unique name for the first time. Being part of written history I am making, each time I write or read, I’ve usually doubt too many questions to myself. For reasons why, I don’t know.

 

Then I’ve met Sir Kirby. He was nice. But at first I’ve met him, I was nervous, sweaty and a mixed reactions of scared and terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve first met also the preschool teacher and the special education teacher. Teacher Jana was the special education teacher. And also part in our staff was Teacher Kyla. They were both on the start of the day, I was also scared of them.

 

But on the run later in life, I’ve really took chances to become one of them someday although I didn’t hold any education degree in my life before. So I’ve felt it was my second home. I was devoted to become one of the good role models. I’ve had heard different stories. But mine was different from the rest of the Down syndrome society.

 

I am eager to learn and I am eager to take the challenges later in life. Because if you doubt too many questions, you couldn’t take the risks later in life. You have to be ready and always take cautious and initiative thinking. What I did every morning? Then I have to tell you.

 

I was sweeping leaves and some garbage spills every Monday to Friday early mornings. Normally I’ve arrived 5:25 to 5:35 every morning. Each time I’ve arrived whether there was rain or no rain, I really took challenges. I felt becoming not cautious at the start. Each time I swept leaves, I was thinking at the back of my head that I could really take chances whatever it may go in my life in the future.

 

Unfold, unwritten and blank pages is the first step to fill it up in my life. Sometimes whenever I look for, I’ve normally doing the good doings in life.

 

What else can you read any articles, you could read about this:

 

Spain’s First Down syndrome councilor

http://www.thelocal.es/20130729/spain-first-down-syndrome-councillor

 

“Time flies when you don’t realized that it is the fate chooses you and not your fate. Sometimes it may count as a big blessing and an opportunity. And it count the way the blessings will knock in your door.”~quoted from IMS Ltre. (ItsMikkiStudio Literature)

 

Itsmikki Studio. 2013 Copyrights. All rights reserved.

Achievements

This is my walkthrough achievements where you can see my latest and old achievements I have made it so far. Each day and each night, I make some new and some old must have throw it away that it doesn’t achieve so far. But I deserved what I got from my life. Maybe a yes if it’s worth it, but if it’s a no, then it’s not worth it. Somehow along the road, I find lessons that I have to learn. You have to earn it through experiences you can get. Just like when you are playing an role playing game, you can select the character and choose the road of pilgrimage of your character.

 

Hmm…it really sounds like a game if you really want it to make so interesting. But here in the walkthrough you can read, it is about me and my success stories. Well some of small and some of big successful stories may have come in your ears to hear and eyes to read it.

 

12 FACTS: WALKTHROUGH OF ACHIEVEMENTS

 

1. My first acting experience

 

Maybe this was a little chance when I got an acting debut back in my elementary days. Well of course, acting was little curious for me. Yes, we always have had a program back in our elementary days. I played as a small role and that was a soldier that my classmates have had a skit play about Ferdinand Magellan and Lapu-Lapu. And I’ve really remembered that. As I was slowly staring in the audience dying like if I was care. The audience really gave us a winning masterpiece. So I did my best. (This was when I was still in fifth grade.)

 

2. My first dancing experience

 

Also back in my elementary days when I have had a chance to dance with my classmates in front of my schoolmates. We didn’t have a studio or theatre back then. So I’ve really had a chance to dance. Practicing to dance was a hard for me in the start. But along the road, I’ve learned the tactics and techniques how to dance very well. (This was when I was still in sixth grade.)

 

3. My talent in drawing

 

Of course, anybody have a chance to draw in a sketch pad. But not from me, I don’t have a skill in drawing. Ever since I was in elementary, I drew a lot of Science drawings from plants, animals or human that made me encountering with a pencil and a paper. So I did an amazingly idea when I showed it to my Science teacher. Then she surprised when she gave me a perfect score in I.W. (or individual work). Somehow I’ve managed my grades well in Science but I’ve always failed other than academic subjects. Somehow I wasn’t able to get attention to my other talents was. (This was when I was still in sixth grade.)

 

4. Dance number in my grandparents’ reunion

 

Along the road when I’ve learned how to dance, my maturity in dancing improved a little. But I wasn’t having serious dance number. Me and my cousins did a dance number before. And I thought having dancing in front of my relatives was giving me a chance to prove that I don’t have stage fright. Well some of my cousins also gave me a chance to have a solo flight back then, I was little curious and I did my best. (This was when it happened during March 29, 1998.)

 

5. Love for literature

 

Soon after I’ve fell in love in acting, dancing and drawing, I’ve also encountered writing in literature. It gave me a passionate to do some poems, songs and sonnets. Back then, my grammar and sentences didn’t improve so much. Because I was able to get some lessons how to write well. But I did my best. Although my first poem was dated back in December 10, 1998 and that was Thursday. Somehow I’ve remembered carefully how I can write properly. It has to be simple. That was how my mother always said to me that it has to be on you how you to write. (This was when I was still in junior year high school of 1998.)

 

6. Graduating colors in high school

 

I was little confused, complicated, dazed and eager to graduate during my senior year in high school. Along the road I’ve accomplished, it was very thankful for me that I really did my best as a student. It was very sad story for me that I’ve to graduate during my senior year in high school. But it was a good chapter for me. My improvements have had me so far that I finally got managing to graduate colors in high school. High school was very hard to graduate in that level. Every subject you have to learn whether it’s elective or not, you have to do it by your own or by help from your parents or relatives. High school is important in education. So if you don’t get in high school, you wouldn’t get college career. My highest grade in high school as far as I’m concerned was Economics with an average of 88. I was very proud of it. Because I wasn’t get an attention to any other of my subjects. I was able to have finish on time. All of subjects were on the line of 8 except for one subject, the High School Math: Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry and Calculus. It was really hard but it was important subject when you entered in college. It’s either you go in engineering, animation, or any related course, it is always there as a college math. You have to deal with it and have to challenge. And somehow I’ve managed to get a high school diploma through my hardship of working in my subjects. In graduation ceremony, I got an outstanding ovation from the audience because of my father’s speech. He was a guest speaker for my high school graduation ceremony. I was very happy that I’ve really enjoyed studying in high school. (This was when I was still senior year in high school of 2000 graduation year.)

 

7. Dancing for the first and second time in AFP Theater in Camp Aguinaldo

 

Why dancing again? But I was getting a culinary degree in college. I’ve faced my challenges. In fact, I did two times already in the year of Summer 2002 and Summer 2003. Before I’ve graduated in Center for Culinary Arts, I’ve asked my parents if I can study and take dancing lessons in Airdance in Quezon Avenue beside the National Bookstore branch. So they did me registering in dance lessons. At first, I have had with my brother in 2002. It was a great experience. But somehow on next Summer 2003, he didn’t join but I forced to continue my habits in dancing. And so I did continuing. I’ve managed to dance in a whole crowd for the first and second time in AFP Theater in Camp Aguinaldo. Our dance teacher was formerly member of Philippine All-Star dance group. (This was when I learned how to dance prettily well in Summer 2002 and Summer 2003.)

 

8. Graduating colors in Center for Culinary Arts

 

Maybe it gave me a span of years to finish a culinary certificate in Center for Culinary Arts. About when I started on May 2000, I gave a little fresh start to get a summer cooking classes before going in a college in Center for Culinary Arts. And I got a passing grade of 75. Well to cut the story in short, I’ve given a two colleges to get into. One was Montessori College near our home and one was in Center for Culinary Arts. Both of them have given a passing grades to me. But in Montessori College, I’ve got a highest score of 88. No wonder I can beat the scorer. I wasn’t an intelligent person but I’ve given as a smart-thinking person. So I’ve graduated in CCA on July 4, 2003, Friday afternoon. (This was when I was 22 years old in the year of 2003.)

 

9. Accepted being having with Down syndrome

 

It was so many years to cut in short. I’ve given a chance to think what would my life be in the future? To cut in short, I’ve always denied and denied of what I have being with Down syndrome. So in fact, I’ve a given opportunity to get out of the shell of my story. I saw a wide crowd. They were saying, “abnormal ba kayo kung yayaman kayo? (Are you abnormal if you are given as a rich person?)” This was when I started going out in networking job. But I’ve realized they were wrong. Being as a rich person makes you so wrong. Communication tool is a powerful tool to use in a good way, but not in a bad way. But along the way, I’ve discovered my both family roots from my father and my mother’s side. Both of them have had a rich history in family roots. So I’ve decide to step backward to push forward in a good direction. I’ve found Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines or to cut in short, DSAPI. It was in my father’s side where one relative’s friend was a volunteer of DSAPI in Davao Chapter. And later, I’ve joined in February 2012, the 20 years of celebration of Happy Walk. It was my first time to join in an organization. And so I did my best to cut my negative sides of my life being having with Down syndrome. But it was already 2 years already that I was ready to accept it with my heart whole-heartedly.

 

10. First delivering short inspirational speech in UST, Alberto Magnus Bldg.

 

It was a greater experience I’ve ever had in my life. And it was my first time that I spoke clearly and slowly in my first delivering short inspirational speech in University of Santo Tomas, Alberto Magnus Building on November 19, 2012 in Monday morning. I was thankful I’ve had a given chance to speak in a crowd. But I barely knew anyone in the crowd except for the one who invited me in UST grounds, it was Jennica Gan. I’ve never had a good time of this experience. To cut in short, it was a blessing.

 

11. First of firsts

 

I’ve had a first organization ID card in December 2012 when I became a part of DSAPI. It was my first. After that, I’ve also got a first postal ID that I got since September 26, 2012, Wednesday afternoon. And after that, I’ve also got my first PWD ID card last March 19, 2013. It was first of everything. But getting a NBI clearance was the second time already. But I’ve managed to get my first police clearance last January 2013. And it was also my first time I’ve got applying my own getting a passport last January. Like I’ve said, it was first of the first of everything.

 

12. Third memorable prom of the year

 

Being at my age of 32 years of age doesn’t mean you were old already. And it was my first experience to have a partner as a not relative, but an occasionally part was having with a La Salle partner. Past of my two prom experiences was also my part of my life. But this was the greatest adventure. I’ve even had a date with a distant relative of Juan Luna and Antonio Luna. Because her name was Luna. Like I’ve said, it was a great third memorable prom of the year and in my life.

 

The main goal of my achievements is one remaining goal in my life. I have to get into the entertainment industry as an artist. Despite I’ve being with Down syndrome is not an excuse, but to share in the Philippines that I also have a talents in acting and dancing. If I were given a chance to sing, maybe I’ve to take a vocal training. These 12 facts of me is a great honor to tell you that this have to be honest feelings as a writer. Like I’ve said in the past articles, I’m not a good writer but I love to write. Because writing proves me having with a passionate to write.